Description: It's about a new relationship. About how everything needs to work so perfectly in order to form a strong bond and familiarity, but at the same time, I must be careful not to let it become casual, for there is a lack of passion in casualty for beauty is lost.
Relations Nouveau -------------------------------------------
So full of passion
Comfortable
Yet scared
Something so new
Has such a brittle bond
Must spend precious time
Without fear of your departure
Must be daring
Yet timid
Every movement is judged
Perfection feels necessary
Until our bond becomes strong
Yet remains beautiful
And new
As I try not to let casualty
Slip between my fingers.
You counteract each statement with a feeling or description. I like how you used your experience yet displayed your worries. Many people, when writing about relationships, write about the good moments but forget to note the fears and possible downfalls they could see happening. Your honesty and emotion made this a very good read.
I like the way this poem is all about one single feeling. You have used many instances to describe it, but it is still one single feeling of hesitation that you are conveying to the reader.
You haven't said too much in the poem. This is good because I am left with questions in my head after I have read it. Why is she feeling like this? What happened in the past? Why the fear of commitment? What is it about him/her that is holding you back? Is she falling in love here or just hesitant?
It's nice sometimes for a poem to be left open. Some poetry is created to answer big questions, and some are written to ask all the little ones.
this is so true. its like a balancing act at the beginning. i think youve said what youre trying to say with this poem (not as easy as it sounds). i like the simplicity. only thing is: did you mean to say casualty near the end. or casuality. i wasnt sure and it almost seems to work both ways but it changes the way i interpret the poem. this is good though and now i have a million questions bouncing around in my head.
Submission Name: Relations Nouveau
