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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I'll Keep On Dreamingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JimweiZERO
    Elite Ratio:    5.38 - 1500/844/80
    Words: 249
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1427
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1798



    Description:
       After 229 days, 1150 comments, 60 submissions (well 61 now) this will be my last write for a long while, I decided I can't keep describing the same emtions over and over, and so until something in my life changes, I will not be writing anything...

    I put everything I felt into this but I don't mind what people do to it...sorry about the length, but please take the time to read it all...

    Of course I'll be around to comment, I would let what I've done so far on this site go to waste...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI'll Keep On Dreamingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I think of you
    I know I'm dreaming
    Because reality
    Has lost all meaning
    Now that you're gone
    And I have stayed
    After all I've done
    What else can I say?

    Somehow you're right
    I'm always left,
    And if you seek me
    I know I'm dreaming.

    When I dream of you
    I know I'm losing,
    A heart can't escape
    Through the words I'm using,
    And I'd only ask
    If you'd offer your hand
    But you said its hard
    And you don't understand.

    Somehow you're standing
    I'm the one falling,
    And when you look down
    I know I'm dreaming.

    Whenever I see you
    I know you don't care
    But it means a lot
    To know you're there,
    And that you're okay
    When I'd rather die
    Than live another day
    Without you at my side.

    Somehow you find me
    But turn the wrong way,
    And if you wander to me
    I know I'm dreaming.

    Whenever we talk
    We may as well not,
    You think I'm nothing
    In life's twisted plot,
    So all of my feelings
    And whatever I do
    Will continue to pass
    Straight through you.

    Somehow you whisper
    And speak so softy,
    But when it's to me
    I know I'm dreaming.

    All that I've written
    And all that I've said,
    Don't worry, I dreamt it,
    It's all in my head.

    Despite what you've done
    And all you have said,
    I'll keep on dreaming
    Until I am dead.




    Submitted on 2004-11-29 14:35:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was sad. I can actually relate to this. It's horrible when you love someone and they don't feel the same way in return. It's torture....I know. I like how you refer to it as dreaming. In which....it really is, in a sense. More like a lost hope. But this was great. I like the rhymes and the wording. Written greatly. Great job!
    | Posted on 2006-04-21 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      My understanding of this poem was that you loved, and lost. Now all you think about is her, even though you know it's only a dream. I liked this poem, and I think a lot of people can't relate to it.
    | Posted on 2006-06-24 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]
      this is one of the better poems i can really relate and i hope riteing makes you feel better like it does me and i dont really have anything bad to say about it
    | Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by giobbiskitchen | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good stuff! Soooo sad and full of dispair to love someone who no longer shares the same feelings! You have a wonderful talent for expression and puting your feelings into words! Thank god for dreams! They are a wonderful escape from reality and can soothe the soul, yet can also bring back painful memories long forgotten too! Anyway, this is really great poetry! Just beautiful! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I really love this piece. I am looking forward to reading more of your work. This piece just spoke to me in millions of different ways. It just...wow. Don't stop...writing. Just don't.
    ~BCute
    | Posted on 2004-12-08 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      the sentiments really nice, i don't like rhyming poetry and i cant help but feel it spoils it here. also- how can you stop writing? for me it's something which happens to me i hardly do anything except let it! If you stop yourself, perhaps you might find a new intensity to a subject which you have lost the full intensity of. I don't know what youre waiting for but some of the best pieces come to authors at a quiet point in their life- when the mind takes over...try reading lots of different poets (i advise old and new!) to get inspiration and a breath of fresh air if thats what you're looking for. But don't stop
    ellisa
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by ellisa | [ Reply to This ]
      oh come on jimmy, don't stop writing... i love your work. please why are you stopping? who is this person? are you going to do something stupid?! you better not! any way keep writing. then what would i read? other than you and a few others, i don't get around much. i like your style.
    you know what? as long as you don't go out and do something stupid like, um, you know, i don't care... well not really. i care. i want you to keep writing. please at least for me and the rest of the readers. think about it... who doesn't like your writes except the people who don't belong here and can't relate?
    oh well write me, ok?
    love christina age 16
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      read almost like lyrics cause you have got a stanza in there which you repeat like a chorus just with some slight alterations. but anyway this is nicely done. no big words and colorful images to get lost in but a good love poem. the length is okay, nothing to worry about here. I think "And when you down/I know I'm dreaming" should have been "And when you're down...".
    I know this point when you think you can't write again and again about the same topic. you think at some point you have said it all. but believe me you haven't. I write for 6 years now and still write about the same old topic.
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a good poem...i liked, and i dont know anything about you except that your a talented writer and i think that if you stop writing it will dissapoint alot of people...including me...
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by poetsoul | [ Reply to This ]
      wow james i really liked it!this is just one stupid thing im gonna point cuz im just gonna make sure its a mistake...in the line 'And when you down' is it supposed to be you're? jsut curious cuz i read it and i was like whoa!lol but anywho i really really liked this one and it sounds like ur writing about the same girl???? but good job!
    bren
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an extremely brilliant peice of work my friend. I have never read anything by you before, but now that I have I don't want to stop. To read that you are done for awhile is sad because you have a lot of talent. However, I understand where you are coming from. Writing loses it luster when it is the same concept in different form everytime you write. I felt that way for a long time. I hope that you start writing again soon! Good luck with everything!
    *Amanda*
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by fortressofwords | [ Reply to This ]
      this is such a great write. i can't imagine not coming on here and reading your work. i hope you will reconsider. who cares if it's the same subject all the time, it's all great! i think you need to keep in mind you are young and lots of things are in store for you, so i know someday you'll write great poetry again! I have enjoyed reading this and i think you couldn't have said it better. keep in touch with me please.
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a shame that you are giving up writing for a while. This poem was very well done, as always, and to me I don't think your subject matter gets old. The only suggestion I have is to change the one verse to "just knowing you're there", but that is just my opinion. Other than that I thought this poem was brilliant, and it fully expressed your emotions. I could somehow relate. Good write. Favorites addition.
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by TheHUGE | [ Reply to This ]
      this was so sad. i'm feeling really sorry that you're not gonna post anything on this site. really james i enjoy all your writes, but hey its your decision, and i respect it. such a great punch line, i'll keep on dreaming, you know james dreams do come true, and i hope yours will. the length was no problem, and the whole thing was sooo powerful. and as usual i admire yuor style here too. you know it dont you?

    loved the way you say that whenever she whispers to you looks at you, you're dreaming, the futility is so well captured here, but the last line attaches the much needed hope. keep on dreaming...

    PS once again try to think about the not writing decision

    PPS you're gonna disappoint a lot of ppl

    PPPS nobody thinks the things you've written on this site is waste, they're all inspired stuff, and i for one think this has go on my favs list....

    Zu
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by Zu | [ Reply to This ]
      well first for the poem. i thought it was great. its quite sad but there are a few glimpses of hope in there. i realy liked the main punch line. 'i know im dreaming'. this realy was a great piece. when you said in the descroption that you put everything you were feeling into it you werent kidding. this poem was deep. realy gave a sense of how much you want this girl. it was superb

    now for the leaving thing. unlike everyone else i dont think taking a break is such a bad idea. im not saying i want you to stop but i think we all need a break sometimes. stop writing for a while so that when we start again we are fresh and on top form. if you were serious and you are going to stop writing for a while then this was definatly a good way to go out. a really good poem to keep people wanting more from you.
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by nameless_nobody | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is awesome and it was just sad and pretty all in one lol I love how people can really express their feelings through poems i think it says a lot about a person.
    | Posted on 2004-12-01 00:00:00 | by grinninggashes | [ Reply to This ]
      It is hard to keep writing the same emotion about someone over and over but I find its sometimes the only thing that keeps me writing. Continue to write, just don't post until you feel ready. This piece is great. I feel the feelings you have described. I wish you the best and I hope to talk to you soon. Continue writing, you have so much talent.
    Excellent job.
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-12-01 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      "All that I've written
    And all that I've said,
    Don't worry, I dreamt it,
    It's all in my head.

    Despite what you've done
    And all you have said,
    I'll keep on dreaming
    Until I am dead."

    Well you blew me outta the water right there. This poem was exceptional, but I should've known that seeing who the writer is:O)

    Anyway I have no words whatsoever against this piece and I do hope you write more before your life turning event, because cant writing cause a life turning event in reallizing its time to change? I dont know, anyway I just wanted to let you know how much I adore this piece:O)

    --Kayla
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
      In the beginning, I thought this would be a little commonplace because of the rhyming. Sometimes the act of rhyming prohobits you from pouring all your emotions accurately. I was definitely proved wrong. And although I did find some rhymes in this piece to be how do you say? just feeling up the space? For instance:
    And I'd only ask
    If you'd offer your hand
    But you said it's hard
    And you don't understand.
    The don't understand part ruins it. At least for me. But then after reading the entire writing, I felt as if I understood you, your pain, and your longing. I relate to this so well. You somedays want something so bad, and you actually possess it, but then you realize that you're only dreaming, that you possess it only in your mind. Good write. I admire it very much. Take care.

    Ps: thank you for taking your time to read Untitled (I swear I need to find a title to it lol). And thank you for your consolation. I'll only give him a four-stanza letter. Then I wait. In the end, I lose nothing.
    | Posted on 2004-12-05 00:00:00 | by wordsofmind | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    35101

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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