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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Victimdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 668
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 664



    Description:
       okay so i dicided i'd actually try not to use "I" in a poem... i did it now i'm done...but hey, that was pretty cool.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVictimdots
    -------------------------------------------


    She's a victim of torture,
    And nobody knows.
    She wanted to die,
    So she lies in a road.
    She sees no one's coming,
    So she pulls out a knife.
    Nobody likes her,
    So she takes her own life.
    Just earlier that day,
    She went to school with a gun.
    She killed all the students,
    Because she never knew fun.
    They would always laugh,
    And call her mean names.
    She just couldn't take it.
    She hated all the pain.
    There's no point to life,
    She tried hard to live.
    She was taken advantage of,
    But in return they'd never give.




    Submitted on 2004-11-29 15:12:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      thanx for yor comment on quiet room also back i changed it to black rose this post of yours was good kinda like crazy my last post
    great write keep posting i will keep reading and thanx for reading
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Good write. I was wondering if she actually killed the students, or if she did that in her mind.
    The whole thing paints a picture of miserable hopelessnes. She seems to ave tried hard to fit in and be accepted, but no one cared enough to see it.
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by Dark_Dancer | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a great peice. It was filled with despair and loneliness. As I read this poem a cloud of darkness and gloom fell over me. My heart sank. Why are people so closed mided and evil. I have the same question as Dark_Dancer...Did she actually kill the students?????? Well, keep up the good work and I hope to read more fo your stuff!
    *Amanda*
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by fortressofwords | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this, it captured everything this girl felt, you should consider reading cut deep , look for it on my page, great write though, i enjoyed it
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by poetsoul | [ Reply to This ]
      Very powerful and very sad... i can relate this to days i went through as a young child.. :( i think you did a great job.. :)
    | Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]


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