mommy's monster by poetsoul

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: mommy's monster dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	poetsoul
ASL Info:	17/f/cali
Elite Ratio:	2.47 - 109/151/32
Words:	92

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	304
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	644

Description:

mommy's monster dots

-------------------------------------------

slowly you drink your poison:
killing me everyday,
and everytime in a new way.
you cure your agility
with your rotting victims.
you've kept me inside so long,
i dont remember who i am.
you see life through my eyes,
because your blind mentally.
narrow minded
and forever afraid...
you shriek painfully,
as your life is drank away.
EMPTY bottle, EMPTY soul.
i never unerstood how a person so weak, so cruel, so severed inside,
could have the strength to be so tormentive.
your a walking corpse,
but im the one decaying....

Submitted on 2004-11-29 15:37:29 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  a very descriptive write about a deplorable situation.if i knew whether or not your poem was about a real situation and not fiction,i could possibly offer you some advice.as a work of fiction you really have created an atmosphere of such realism that it simply shocks the reader.good luck and fare well.
| Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by sickly | [ Reply to This ]
  sounds very personal and a tough emotion to play. you could really expand that thought with vivid imagery if it is a personal thing take the anger out and let your soul talk to you and you will have a great dark piece of writing. if it is someone you no you can do the same thing and roll with it
sandman
| Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
  Very powerful and a wonderful write.. i dont know if the situation is real but it certainly speaks to me about a real life experience of my own..kep writing..
| Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
  my advice is that you get out of that situation even if you have to involve the authorities.you will be dragged down into a morass of vice and corruption if you don't get out soon.are there friends or relatives that could provide you with assistance?involve the local crisis intervention center if you can.this must stop or you will lose your future.give yourself some credit and make a move.good luck and fare well.
| Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by sickly | [ Reply to This ]
  wow, this is good. the emotion in it is so real and raw. you did a good job painting a picture of the situation. i look forward to reading more.
| Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]
  After reading this several times, I still can't decide if the drinker is inside or outside of you. People with schizophrenia will tell you they're being chased by demons, the ones who are paranoid just act as if they are being annoyed by fear. Whichever is the case, you have to do something, you only have yourself to save.
No, I'm not saying you have mental illness, not now,
but you will if you don't get help. As others have said,
this is too realistic for me to believe you're not living it.
Good luck, nansofast
| Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.