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i will never stop


Author: Scribbles1338
ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169 /167 /37
Words: 181
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1231
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1125



Description:


Just an idea I got...tell me if it makes sense.


i will never stop



I can be your voodoo doll
With each pinprick
Feeling pain throughout
My wretched being
Wounded through the heart
But I will never stop

I can be your little rag doll
Laying limp in your hand
You can pull at my hair
Step on me
And toss me aside
But I will never stop

I can be your Barbie doll
Dress me up fancy
Put me in a pink car
And taunt my life
My plastic existence
But I will never stop

I can be your marionette
Dangling lifelessly
Until you pull the ropes
And make me dance
To the tune which you play
But I will never stop

I can be your baby doll
Staring up at you
With my large glass eyes
Toss me in a corner
And I promise not to cry
But I will never stop

I can be me myself
Alive and breathing
Wrapped tight in your arms
Hold me close forever
Kiss all my fears away
And I will never stop

Loving you





Submitted on 2004-11-29 22:38:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I think that was excellent. This is exactly how I feel towards someone. The way you put this together was beautiful...each description was terrific. I just loved it. Good peice!
| Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by StillimCold | [ Reply to This ]
  Cool idea. I get where you were going with this, and I don't take it literally to mean that he can control you completely. But the play with dolls and puppets and such is very clever and fun to read. I envy you on this one because I bet you had a lot of fun writing it as well. I've been too, too easy lately, gushing with everyone, so I'd love to criticise something here, but I just can't. There are a few lines where I'dlike to see you use a little more imagination, but that's up to you. I typically write something, then challenge every line to see if I might have been lazy here or there. Still, there's always changes that can be made. No need here...it's great as it is. I look forward to reading more of you soon.
| Posted on 2004-11-29 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
  Excellent ideal! Smooth execution- desperate, longing, pain of love hurt lost and… damn… I enjoy it. I‘ll pass it along… Signed, Number Six
| Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
  the descroptions in this are amazing in most places. i didnt understand what you wouldn't stop doing and then with the last line it all fitted togther,
I can be me myself
Alive and breathing
Wrapped tight in your arms
Hold me close forever
Kiss all my fears away
And I will never stop

that was my fav part cos it wasnt depressive
| Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by rach_me | [ Reply to This ]


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