[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Corddots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 751
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 855


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Corddots

    If the road disappeared behind you
    would you find your way back to me?
    Because with each inch
    you move away from me,
    I fade a little
    liike a light bulb that dims
    in a thousand stages
    instead of the stereotypical three,
    but I never dull completely
    because life offers no mercy.
    I suppose that when you get
    to where you're going
    I'll be like the moon
    which only shines
    because it reflects the earth
    that gets its light from the sun,
    but my third hand gleam
    is stronger than your cruelty,
    and new sources of light
    will gather around me
    because my darkened beauty
    will attract them
    like opposing magnetic poles
    and I'll cut our dysfunctional cord

    Submitted on 2004-03-18 22:22:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The symbolic imageries here are very effective...I like the rhetorical question in the beginning...I really like this...U could make use of some puntuations here...it will really boost the atmosphere.APOLLO!
    | Posted on 2004-03-19 00:00:00 | by APOLLO | [ Reply to This ]
      a longer poem than usual, but the images are beautiful again. I like it. it's a really good one.
    | Posted on 2004-03-19 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      Fabulous write. I agree with Minstrel, that entire section was outstanding. I need to go back in your catalogue some time, see what other goodies you have for me.
    | Posted on 2004-03-19 00:00:00 | by KrimsonReaper | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. As a whole, it's just so deep...sad too :( but then again not sad.
    "I'll be like the moon
    Which only shines
    Because it reflects the earth
    That gets its light from the sun
    But my third hand gleam..."<--------this whole part was super well thought out and blew me away. Well put.
    | Posted on 2004-03-18 00:00:00 | by MusingMinstrel | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem really confused me alot...I cannot say I fully grasped well...any of it! Between stereotypical light bulbs (other than those GE 3 ways bulbs) and the direction of the poem (epecially dysfunctional cord...say what?) Not to say that I've never written a confusing poem...shyeah...most of mine are.
    | Posted on 2004-03-18 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, you never cease to amaze me, very wide spectrum, in my opinion, you're most talented writer on this site! bravo!
    | Posted on 2004-03-18 00:00:00 | by pestiferous | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Summer written by layDsayD
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Every..... written by jackz
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]