Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Amusement From My Walldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 842
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 576



    Description:
       I sit in my room and play for the Nirvana poster on my wall. Kurt Cobain always has this amusement in his eyes and I cannot help but feel he is mocking me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAmusement From My Walldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Kurt Cobain looks at me from my wall
    he's amused
    I don't care at all
    but for him I always play
    for him I sing this shit away
    I drown it all out
    I'm to loud to shout

    I'm tired of cleaning up your mess
    its as simple as dishwater
    but not appealing
    not attractive
    never revealing

    insane or insecure
    it sticks either way
    I can never be sure
    if I really am okay

    I hate this, your staring through my songs and I cannot take it




    Submitted on 2004-11-30 11:54:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I've never read this one. That was great. For some reason, makes me think of that scene from almost famous when he's like, "He's taking notes with his eyes," or some [censored] like that. It's funny that you write this, I used to always feel like that picture of Chris O'Donnell as Robin on my wall was staring at me as I undressed. we are two f*cked up sisters, huh?
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      Kurt had those crazy eyes too. Made you feel. Yeah . . . it reminded me of when I was 14 after getting my first guitar how I accidently caught nirvana's unplugged thing on mtv. It captured that feeling for me. Kurt was a hero. He was a martyr. He was the Jesus of rock - he died for our sins. I hope he finds his nirvana.
    | Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      Just take the poster down! Or does he also help you, give you inspiration? I could see how he would. But in your poem you don't seem to like him staring at you. Or did I get the message completely wrong? If you think he's mocking you, I figured it wuzn't a good thing.
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by WaxingPoetic | [ Reply to This ]
      you obviously have high aspirations. trying to match the great cobain. good luck on that one. i like this poem. often we have mentors that we feel are mocking our inabilities. in this case hes not really your mentor but its the same sort of effect. but thats sometimes the best way to learn. i think if you take the poster down itll only have a negative impact on you.
    i didn't really get the second and third stanzas. cleaning up someones mess. and your insanity/insecurity. are you talking about kurt cobain here? maybe this makes sense to you but looking in without knowing anything more than you give me, this doesn't really tie in. maybe if theres some connection in your head you should make it more clear to the reader.
    you dont keep the same rhyme scheme throughout but thats okay. as is, this poem is good. but i think if you ever feel like revising, you should come back and take a look at this one.
    good job!
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by jonsmithy | [ Reply to This ]
      It kind of sounds like the author literally has some mental issues. From this poem, I got the impression that the Cobain poster was more like an enemy (rather than an expression of fan-based merchandising.)
    | Posted on 2004-12-17 00:00:00 | by gavinspikenard | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    35250

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Records I written by Raphael
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry