Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Amusement From My Walldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 854
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 576



    Description:
       I sit in my room and play for the Nirvana poster on my wall. Kurt Cobain always has this amusement in his eyes and I cannot help but feel he is mocking me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAmusement From My Walldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Kurt Cobain looks at me from my wall
    he's amused
    I don't care at all
    but for him I always play
    for him I sing this shit away
    I drown it all out
    I'm to loud to shout

    I'm tired of cleaning up your mess
    its as simple as dishwater
    but not appealing
    not attractive
    never revealing

    insane or insecure
    it sticks either way
    I can never be sure
    if I really am okay

    I hate this, your staring through my songs and I cannot take it




    Submitted on 2004-11-30 11:54:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I've never read this one. That was great. For some reason, makes me think of that scene from almost famous when he's like, "He's taking notes with his eyes," or some [censored] like that. It's funny that you write this, I used to always feel like that picture of Chris O'Donnell as Robin on my wall was staring at me as I undressed. we are two f*cked up sisters, huh?
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      Kurt had those crazy eyes too. Made you feel. Yeah . . . it reminded me of when I was 14 after getting my first guitar how I accidently caught nirvana's unplugged thing on mtv. It captured that feeling for me. Kurt was a hero. He was a martyr. He was the Jesus of rock - he died for our sins. I hope he finds his nirvana.
    | Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      Just take the poster down! Or does he also help you, give you inspiration? I could see how he would. But in your poem you don't seem to like him staring at you. Or did I get the message completely wrong? If you think he's mocking you, I figured it wuzn't a good thing.
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by WaxingPoetic | [ Reply to This ]
      you obviously have high aspirations. trying to match the great cobain. good luck on that one. i like this poem. often we have mentors that we feel are mocking our inabilities. in this case hes not really your mentor but its the same sort of effect. but thats sometimes the best way to learn. i think if you take the poster down itll only have a negative impact on you.
    i didn't really get the second and third stanzas. cleaning up someones mess. and your insanity/insecurity. are you talking about kurt cobain here? maybe this makes sense to you but looking in without knowing anything more than you give me, this doesn't really tie in. maybe if theres some connection in your head you should make it more clear to the reader.
    you dont keep the same rhyme scheme throughout but thats okay. as is, this poem is good. but i think if you ever feel like revising, you should come back and take a look at this one.
    good job!
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by jonsmithy | [ Reply to This ]
      It kind of sounds like the author literally has some mental issues. From this poem, I got the impression that the Cobain poster was more like an enemy (rather than an expression of fan-based merchandising.)
    | Posted on 2004-12-17 00:00:00 | by gavinspikenard | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    35250

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Carry written by saartha
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Every..... written by jackz
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Push written by JanePlane

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry