Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Calm in the Stormdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: amlyn
    ASL Info:    23/F/IN
    Elite Ratio:    4.42 - 48/37/9
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 237
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 486



    Description:
       There is a lot going on with this as it concerns many things that are on my mind.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Calm in the Stormdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The clouds of darkness circling my mind
    A ray of sunlight the hardest to find
    A shower of tears acidity they possess
    Running uncontrollably down hard to suppress
    A flash of light illuminates my sight
    Not a ray of sunshine but lightning in night
    My mind a rough storm consumed in thought
    My heart desiring freedom one to be fought
    Will daybreak come calm the breaking the storm
    Or will I be forced to experience only my norm




    Submitted on 2004-11-30 13:36:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It's a nice poem you've written there. It's so simple and sad, and i loved the title you picked out for it. I would also like o give you props on using couplet rhyming! Yay! I havn't seen that rhyme style for a while. A suggestion though, maybe you should work on the line "Not a ray of sunshine but lightning in night."
    Sounds just a bit funky if you know what i mean. Other hen taht, great job.

    Aken Sol
    | Posted on 2004-12-15 00:00:00 | by Aken Sol | [ Reply to This ]
      that's a very dark and painful piece you seem to be passing by or was passing by some really hard times.. and its really painfull for you.. well you very well described it and expressed it , it just goes right through your soul .. very well done
    | Posted on 2004-11-30 00:00:00 | by Tarek Refaat | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it! (which is weird, because I usually dislike rhyming poetry.) This poem didn't seem bound by the need to rhyme like most do. That is, until ithe end. "norm." Argh i hate it when people shorten words to make them fit... No offense because the makers of Shrek did it too. Actually, they used the word norm as well. norm, normal... maybe it just bugs me because Im not familiar with calling it "the norm" its usually the usual. lol. well, it was very descriptive and painted a vivid picture! Keep it up you crunchy little badmonkey! -SHB
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by SoulHathBled | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.