a warm summer breakfast by hidden lady

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Submission Name: a warm summer breakfast dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	hidden lady
ASL Info:	28/female/nebraska
Elite Ratio:	4.47 - 116/118/30
Words:	63

Class/Type:	Poetry/Satire
Total Views:	960
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	435

Description:
fruit, city of angels, insomnia and hunger. nuff said.

a warm summer breakfast dots

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A moist feeling upon
the desperate tongue,
as a sweet grainy substance
is chewed and absorbed.
The feeling of satisfaction
surrounds and fills
the emotional state of life,
only to drift away
a moment after the pleasure
has done it's job.
For if the feeling were
to last , it would lose
that satisfaction.
like a drug, you only need more.

Submitted on 2004-03-19 01:55:14 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  Nice comparison, i can almost taste the food and at the same time, am repulsed by that self same feeling. Great piece of writing, simple but provokes significant reaction and response in the reader.
| Posted on 2004-04-05 00:00:00 | by Transcendancing | [ Reply to This ]
  The simplicity of this write is refreshing. It was straightforward, focused, and easy to swallow (sorry for the pun.) The word "ingested" seemed too technical in the context of the write. Perhaps "absorbed" or "swallowed" would work? In any regard, this was an insightful write.
| Posted on 2004-03-19 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
  This is nice, but you have several spelling errors that detract from the poem. Your message is very true.
| Posted on 2004-03-19 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.