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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: a warm summer breakfastdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hidden lady
    ASL Info:    28/female/nebraska
    Elite Ratio:    4.47 - 116/118/30
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 970
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 435



    Description:
       fruit, city of angels, insomnia and hunger. nuff said.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa warm summer breakfastdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A moist feeling upon
    the desperate tongue,
    as a sweet grainy substance
    is chewed and absorbed.
    The feeling of satisfaction
    surrounds and fills
    the emotional state of life,
    only to drift away
    a moment after the pleasure
    has done it's job.
    For if the feeling were
    to last , it would lose
    that satisfaction.
    like a drug, you only need more.




    Submitted on 2004-03-19 01:55:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    2: I dunno...
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Nice comparison, i can almost taste the food and at the same time, am repulsed by that self same feeling. Great piece of writing, simple but provokes significant reaction and response in the reader.
    | Posted on 2004-04-05 00:00:00 | by Transcendancing | [ Reply to This ]
      The simplicity of this write is refreshing. It was straightforward, focused, and easy to swallow (sorry for the pun.) The word "ingested" seemed too technical in the context of the write. Perhaps "absorbed" or "swallowed" would work? In any regard, this was an insightful write.
    | Posted on 2004-03-19 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      This is nice, but you have several spelling errors that detract from the poem. Your message is very true.
    | Posted on 2004-03-19 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]


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