[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Painful Lovedots

    Author: grinninggashes
    ASL Info:    17/f/from sumwhere :)
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 154/124/25
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1173
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 419


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPainful Lovedots

    Glaring through my tear-stained eyes
    I stare at your face
    and wonder why?
    Would you have said the things you said?
    If you knew what I had wished
    Alls I wanted was to be dead.
    Your unconcious hateful words tearing at my flesh
    left me looking like
    cut, stained mesh
    One day I'll supass this pain
    Untill then I'm fighting to keep myself sane

    Submitted on 2004-12-01 12:57:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      In this poem, I didn't feel you added your normal flare to it, you gave emotions to it,however, I think you need more anger imagery in this poem. A little too much cliché.
    | Posted on 2004-12-08 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I love your beautiful emotion my friend, but please let me say... love is not painful. Love is what conquers the pain. Love is what we are when pain does not excist, does not hold sway any longer on what we do... or who we are. Love is a way of life beyond fear, doubt, pain, anger, hate or dishonesty. Love is what you are when you truely express yourself and let yourself be what it is you can be. You do not guide love, it guides you... My friend this poem is a beautiful expression of your heart and i greatly admire you for it... but please, let yourself be free of what you think love is, and open yourself up to what love can be... Take care my friend, it's been an honor reading your heart...

    | Posted on 2004-12-01 00:00:00 | by Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really nice, short and to the point, I think you meant "surpass" near the end of the poem, I like the imagery, with tearing at your flesh, nice work!
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked how you expressed so much emotion in the poem. The only thing wrong with this is that you had a few typos, but once you five that this can really turn into something great
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by demonickitten87 | [ Reply to This ]
      Love makes us do some screw up things. Not only to our lover but to ourselves. I hope you are way way way way past this point in your life and these poems are only growing experiences. Don't beat yourself down because you chose a jackass. Just don't do it again. As far as your writing is concerned. Keep doing what ya doing.
    | Posted on 2005-02-02 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]