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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Beedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 607
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 342



    Description:
       This is a really old one that I just found last week. It says a lot... if you can understand it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeedots
    -------------------------------------------


    In a room all by myself,
    I don't think that I'm in good health.
    I look around and all I see...
    Is a big fat stinger bee.
    Please don't hurt me I shall cry.
    For if you do I'll surely die.
    I'm not allergic, I've not forgot.
    But with all this pain my heart will rot.




    Submitted on 2004-12-01 20:26:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A bumblebee stung me! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Damn phallic metaphors for penises… Hmmmmm- remove the "that" in lyne 2 for better flow... Peace, love and killer bees- ~#6-
    | Posted on 2004-12-01 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      I am not sure if I should be laughing but...damn that was funny! I loved it. I would hate to know how you came up with this but ... great work!
    | Posted on 2004-12-01 00:00:00 | by raptures | [ Reply to This ]
      Funny! Really funny! Nix "for" in line six and "that" in line two to amp up the meter, and I think you'll have it! Nice one.
    | Posted on 2004-12-01 00:00:00 | by Jemma Dumptruck | [ Reply to This ]


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    12. Does it feel original?



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