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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Where Darkness Shonedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: arkay
    ASL Info:    50+/m/Atl.Can
    Elite Ratio:    4.84 - 450/320/56
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1053
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 578



    Description:
       I don't often throw something up after having just written it, but I thought I waould try this and let you tear it apart for me, see if it saves me the work.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhere Darkness Shonedots
    -------------------------------------------



    Clarity beckons once where darkness shone,
    Questing relevance to be our light,
    Rays of hope to guide us on.
    Finding our way to accept this sight,
    Our path is strewn with careless thought.
    Salvaging that which we may use,
    Not to forget what is being sought.
    Temper each within our muse.
    Careful not to lose our way,
    Ever watchful to be our ploy,
    Sharing thoughts to each we pay
    And hopes for some that may enjoy.
    The words have fallen from my pen,
    Yet hopes remain to do it again.




    Submitted on 2004-12-02 07:49:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      nice piece and very thoughtful although the idea is not clear much to me , could be i couldn't see it :) but its nice work done there and the words are well matched and make a mind think but i haven't been able to see the full picture but great work :)
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by Tarek Refaat | [ Reply to This ]
      Awsome. I loved this poem. How you can describe the writers on this site. Again very good
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by Marbles | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that this is a good write but somewhat confusing. I think that it is about poetry and how it happens but the words kind of fall over each other. I like it... the rhyming is very good but I think that it's missing something... ot maybe has too much. I'm just not sure
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by ashlee_jane2003 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, not much to tear apart. ;)
    Seems like you have the rhyme pattern and rhythm going well.
    I read it to be about writing; getting those thoughts from random and careless in the brain to thoughtful and relevant on paper. (or pixels)
    Good write, whether you just threw it up or not.
    (somehow the image of puking up poetry came to mind when reading your description...but it doesnt fit with your work :P )
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      Alright man, first let me say i enjoyed the flow of this poem, the rhyme wasn't forced and it had a more unique pattern then most. Though, i;m still struggling over the meaning of this piece. It seems to me like it's a poem about writing a poem... i could just be looking shallow into it. I would love to hear your side of the story if you ever have the time. Take care and i hope to hear from ya. Adios! Travis
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha | [ Reply to This ]


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