Description: I don't often throw something up after having just written it, but I thought I waould try this and let you tear it apart for me, see if it saves me the work.
Where Darkness Shone -------------------------------------------
Clarity beckons once where darkness shone,
Questing relevance to be our light,
Rays of hope to guide us on.
Finding our way to accept this sight,
Our path is strewn with careless thought.
Salvaging that which we may use,
Not to forget what is being sought.
Temper each within our muse.
Careful not to lose our way,
Ever watchful to be our ploy,
Sharing thoughts to each we pay
And hopes for some that may enjoy.
The words have fallen from my pen,
Yet hopes remain to do it again.
nice piece and very thoughtful although the idea is not clear much to me , could be i couldn't see it :) but its nice work done there and the words are well matched and make a mind think but i haven't been able to see the full picture but great work :)
I think that this is a good write but somewhat confusing. I think that it is about poetry and how it happens but the words kind of fall over each other. I like it... the rhyming is very good but I think that it's missing something... ot maybe has too much. I'm just not sure
Well, not much to tear apart. ;) Seems like you have the rhyme pattern and rhythm going well. I read it to be about writing; getting those thoughts from random and careless in the brain to thoughtful and relevant on paper. (or pixels) Good write, whether you just threw it up or not. (somehow the image of puking up poetry came to mind when reading your description...but it doesnt fit with your work :P )
Alright man, first let me say i enjoyed the flow of this poem, the rhyme wasn't forced and it had a more unique pattern then most. Though, i;m still struggling over the meaning of this piece. It seems to me like it's a poem about writing a poem... i could just be looking shallow into it. I would love to hear your side of the story if you ever have the time. Take care and i hope to hear from ya. Adios! Travis