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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Apoplexydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rounin
    ASL Info:    17/f/USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 122/113/21
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Misc/Venting
    Total Views: 1031
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 576



    Description:
       This is kind of an abstract piece, pretty raw. In case it seems like it, it doesn't imply the fire of hell. I think I can do a lot more work on it, so it might appear again in the future, different. Don't be nice to it, I want to hear suggestions.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsApoplexydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The itching becomes
    the seed of the burning
    electrified nerves
    shoot through seething limbs;
    they streak into the fingers
    of an incomplete shadow,
    and fashion the claws
    Talons that rage
    to tear, to shred
    the fabric of time,
    the barrier of space.
    Teeth become fangs
    dripping with power
    shining to match the blazing eyes
    The fire does not burn.
    It is the very heart-
    the life force-
    the reality
    turned inside out
    to sustain my creation.




    Submitted on 2004-12-02 11:03:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I actually think I have some idea of what you are trying to say in this. But I don't think you have to understand a poem to enjoy it, but I guess some people feel they must. Those are the people that keep getting their hand caught in the cookie jar though, hehe.

    I do dislike this line though "the fabric of time,
    the barrier of space." It seems like it's been done all before.

    I think the person who said this sounds like someone turning into a werewolf is the closest to being correct. But that's looking at this work to physically. It's an internal struggle. It's showing the beast within that people judge and assume but in all actuallity, sometimes a beast is more beautiful than the fairest of maidens. Imperfection...socities picture perfect is proven wrong... that's the beauty.

    Kinda like the beauty and the beast concept. I think it shows that someone has caused an itch in this person, an imperfection that causes them to worry about it so much it's like scratching an infected wound. The scratching becomes the burning because a rash forms, thus signifying that what they have told this person, or shown them, has totally consumed them to a point that they are doing damage to themselves by trying to change it. It bothers them so much, it's like a werewolf tearing it's human skin off. Maybe it doesn't tear the skin off so much out of pain or fate...but because It can't stand the disgusting container it's held within. I could be just reading into this a bit too much but that's what strikes me when I read this poem. Maybe it's like an ink blot and you see what you want to see, or what's inside you, haha. Amazing work just fix the details. So proud.
    | Posted on 2005-02-15 00:00:00 | by majinkenshinamv | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm, cool poem. Mysterious. Ooh, cool. I liked the poem, even though I don't really get the point. But then again, I'm stupid. Kriss
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by juss_kriss | [ Reply to This ]
      Dr. Frankenstein??? I have nothing badd to say and no suggestions to make… Thys is one of those useless comments- sorry. I liked it how it was… Peace, love and pedophiles- ~#6-
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      okay.. suggestions...um, tell a little bit more on the description.. i was having a hard time figuring out what it was about. You used vivid words and captured my interest. Keep it up
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by BenevolantWords | [ Reply to This ]


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