[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: End to Paindots

    Author: Dark_Dancer
    ASL Info:    18/F/Washington
    Elite Ratio:    3.44 - 174/164/96
    Words: 200
    Class/Type: Prose/Depressed
    Total Views: 922
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1034

       Wrote this a few years ago.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEnd to Paindots

    I was an angel, and I have fallen. My broken, severed wings lie bleeding on the ground. I stroke these fading memories of what I used to know. Instead of eternal bliss, I now feel this world, and I lift these hollow gray eyes in a silent prayer for the end. I sit on high in my own little world, drunken with the pain, stoned on depression, and wonder how far it is, from my throne to the world's, how far down people really are. I sit atop a building, watching the cars pass by, watching people huddle under their umbrellas as the rain drops to earth. I wonder what the distance is between myself and them, and if I have what it takes to close that razor-sharp gap.
    I feel the rain, the cleansing, merciful rain. It helps to sluice away the problems of the day. The thunders drowns the echoing voices, the memories that play like broken records. The lightning sears away the phantoms and blinds those that scream and yell, silencing them. The rain erases the hurt. Now what, I wonder, can keep it away?

    Submitted on 2004-12-02 14:54:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this was cool and very unexpected... ilove it. not so short and not so simple but still beautiful. wow it is a little complicated at first but still an awesome piece of work.
    love tina
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      a very touching and emotion groupings of words.
    ur discription is quite different- for some reason this poem gave me an insight or moreover a vivid image of a woman faced down on a pavement hurt, this pome has great imagination to it and its deep.
    tho i think i found a typo:
    It helps to sluice away the problems...
    i think u meant:
    it helps to 'slice' away the problems...
    but n-e way very in depth and awesome poem.
    | Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by dannyshyboy | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]