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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Starlightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Pyrosis
    ASL Info:    24/M/TN
    Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 199/204/35
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 816
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 680



    Description:
       Alright for those of you who read this.. these are just some thoughts i had last night.. alot of people i know are starting to hurt.. so i went out to smoke last night and started thinking about it.. yeah this just sorta came to me looking at the sky.. i hope you moderatly enjoy it..
    this is for you my friends.. i hope everyone feels better
    Adam


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStarlightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I see them all shining across the night with a beauty I cannot grasp
    Some seem to fade, while others shine bright
    Though they are all so very...
    Beautiful

    My own lies on the horizon
    Far from the attention of most
    Much like every other on the horizon...
    Alone

    Truly.. Truly I shine for those around me
    My light is not my own
    It is for those who need it the most.. the ones...
    Hurting

    Perhaps it is not enough to merely shine for another
    Can I do anything more?
    I truly hope I can do what I must.. but am I...
    Dreaming







    Submitted on 2004-12-03 08:21:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Adam, this says you all over it. You help people with out even knowing it. And when people say you do you like to disagree with them. But I can see why, you really care about your friends, which is very good. Just dont get down when one time in a very rare moment where what you do doesnt work. I has made an impression but dont let it get you down. You are a great person.

    Jesse
    | Posted on 2004-12-09 00:00:00 | by Kera | [ Reply to This ]
      Personally this poem is pretty good...to me it had a mewithoutyou style and rhythm to it...which i like...because i'm a fan of them...if you haven't heard of them...check them out...anyways...back to the poem...i really did like and there might be some changes that could take place, but none that i can see...good write...keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by EnHakkore | [ Reply to This ]
      Personally this poem is pretty good...to me it had a mewithoutyou style and rhythm to it...which i like...because i'm a fan of them...if you haven't heard of them...check them out...anyways...back to the poem...i really did like and there might be some changes that could take place, but none that i can see...god write...keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by EnHakkore | [ Reply to This ]
      Personally this poem is pretty good...to me it had a mewithoutyou style and rhythm to it...which i like...because i'm a fan of them...if you haven't heard of them...check them out...anyways...back to the poem...i really did like and there might be some changes that could take place, but none that i can see...good write...keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by EnHakkore | [ Reply to This ]
      I love pieces that tie natural happenings/ natural objects with human emotions/ human actions. There's just something so elegant about it, like everyone can relate or at least invision it and know what you're trying to say. The style was very nice; I really like how you ended each stanza with one word, as if to provide closure to each seperate idea. "Beautiful", "Alone", "Hurting", and "Dreaming" all sound like the qualities of the people you are trying to connect to with this piece, and I really like how you portrayed that as well.

    This piece is soothing, with a slight melancholy afterthought. It's like a hug through words, saying everything that a hug does, and I really liked it a lot. It feels like you just gave me a hug Thank you, and very nicely written.
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by eener | [ Reply to This ]
      I like how after each verse you came to an understanding, almost as if you were answering an unknow feeling...I love the line:
    perhaps it is not enough to mearly shine for another:
    Have we all not known that feeling, wanting to do more but can not. You write beautifully, and the only thing I would add is atmosphere...stary night is great, but is he warm, chilled...ect. again great piece of work...loved it!
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by raptures | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, my angry rant added to your thoughts. I am just...upset. I want to be me but I am strangled beneath a blanket of people, smothering, suffocating. I need to write a poem about that, but after this comment I am going on my relaxing break. No more poems for a little while. I need to think more about...school, friends, Rachel in particular. I am going to dye my hair, I told you yesterday I hated mine. Well, I want it darker, and I am going to force my mom to dye it. Either that or I will take myself down the road to a hair salon and have it done for me. And then, get screamed at but nothing more. Yes, the screaming hurts, but so does the lie I have told myself. So does that fact I thought so long that I was not even my own person, that I had to dress to please someone, act to please someone. Anyway, I am not leaving permantly and I will most likely be on MSN later. Just, don't worry about me okay. When I get upset I write what I feel just then. Most people that I know do not know me real well. I tend to get..ticky when I am upset. This was the first place I came to..I am not going to harm myself or anyone else. Anyway, nice poem to keep it on subject. I have to go...and...do something.
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by Crimsonpathways | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so thoughtful, considerate, and compassionate. You described your light shining for others so vividly. I loved the detail. Thanks, this does mean a lot, even to those of us who are hush hush about our hurting. You are a great person and you light shines farther than you know. Donít hurt for those of us hurting, give us the strength you possess. You have it written in the words of this poem. You have such a kind heart as I have told you many times. Great job. I canít express to you the gratitude I have for this write.
    Keep on shining to light other people's way, and your own.

    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]


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    35741

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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