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    dots Submission Name: My Wish to Steal Youdots

    Author: eener
    ASL Info:    21/f/wi
    Elite Ratio:    5.55 - 351/370/53
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 776
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1093


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Wish to Steal Youdots

    I watch you cry
    From every lie
    You listen to him say.

    It will all be okay!

    Banish your fear,
    For now I am here!
    Spreading light.
    Ready to fight.
    Just for you,
    So sweet and true.

    This way I feel,
    Is it for real?
    Injected with love.

    You'll fit like a glove
    Next to my side.
    And like a warm tide
    Invitingly greets
    Any passerby it meets,
    I'll take wonderful care
    Of any heart I ensnare.

    I choose you,
    So beautiful, yet blue.
    Leave him there!
    He can't compare,
    To all I have to give.

    I want you to live!
    Be happy and free.
    You won't be sorry,
    Oh perfect one.
    His ride is done!
    He's hurt you enough
    With his every bluff.

    So will you please
    Use these keys
    To open your heart;
    To heal what's torn apart?
    So precious and divine,
    I endeavor to make you mine.

    Submitted on 2004-12-03 13:17:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      First I want to say, I am a great guy,lol
    A little whacked in the head but what the hell. I think it was because I use to be a male stripper, it was free to get in but cost 20 to get out,lol

    I am very happy to hear you have found yourself a great guy and that you wrote such an endearing poem about him, sure he get paid for his lap dances,lol

    This is a very sweet write with message of what a loving relationship should be.

    Well on to your next poem.
    | Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is a great expression of trust Renee. I expecially like him handing you the keys to open your heart at the end. This is like a testament that there are guys out there that will take care of a fragile heart and nurture it to make it whole again. Hope your boyfriend likes this one.
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      the message in this is so good. it's nice to be reminded that there are men out there that have great loving hearts. you are lucky to have found such a wonderful one.*
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]
      this is the best poem ever.

    here you have dimension.

    there is a slight undertone of your bf in the initial passages.
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by max | [ Reply to This ]
      i really enjoyed this poem alot. I like the way you tell her everything will be ok...once she is with you. though its easier said then done. The only thing is taht some of the lines sound a bit shaksphere like (yes i know i spelled it wrong lol) truely a great poem. Keep up the great writing.
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by Jane Lost | [ Reply to This ]

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