I get this picture in my head of a house burning down and in the distance the sun is setting on it. Some have died inside while others watch from outside in shock and awe as firemen try to douse the flames.
They see the irony and amplification of the mood by the setting of the sun.
or i could be wrong...
nicely written piece here I love these little 4 liners.
I think this perfect the way it is, -you have compacted vivid imagery as well as evoking a melancholy and thoughts about beauty in all things, even death. I live in a mountainous area also, and reading this brings back the late summer evenings of 2003, when forest fires devasted Okanagan Mountain, and deer and other wildlife fled , running down the city streets to escape.
The only small suggestion i have is to remove the word "the" which precedes "shadows"
I enjoyed reading this, the wording was great...usually short poems seem to miss the point the writer is trying to make, but i think you did a very good job here...the words seem to work together perfectly, not even a hint of awkwardness...keep up the good work, sorry i don't have any helpful suggestions
so much in so few words...very cool! I get the feeling of a bunch of businessmen/factory workers walking home from work at dusk. This seems to be a complete thought, and should not be added to. keep writing! peace.