Description: For those of you who don't know, Punch and Judy are old puppet characters. Punch is a big nosed humpback who fights (physically and verbally) with his wife Judy. I'm not sure about the title, so I'm open to suggestions.
A Glass of Anger -------------------------------------------
Tears feed cruelty
like an IV nourishes
a coma victim,
so I stay dry.
My eyes fill with sand.
I watch your teeth clench.
Anger fills you like a glass
because I refuse
to mime that Punch-and-Judy show.
Hmmm... this is a cruel one, with the tension increasing after each word. On the other hand it's pretty ironic. I just wonder who's gonna drink this glass of anger? Cause someone has to do it. Uh... just having thoughts.
Heh. A comic approach to this concept of quiet respite and self control.
I liked this read, because it was unique. No one else has probably ever referencded the Punch and Judy show here on Elite.
This seems as though this has happened either to you, or you are creating a poetic re-enactment of this scene occuring. The clenching teeth, the anger welling up inside this person because you, or whomever would not strike back, would not give them the simple pleasure...of having a reason to unleash this caged fury.
There isn't much else to say on this piece, ofr it was short in length (quite), and everything else from the punctuation to the vocabulary was sound. Take Care.
eyes filled with sand... OUCH! ive not heard of Punch and Judy in the LONGEST time! actually i think ive only ever hear of them once and that was when i was 5 years old and had to be Judy and really all i remember is having a sore arm and a green jersey! lol! completely irrelevant... i digress... i am forever in awe of your ability to say so very much in no words at all hardly... i think the title does work kinda well with this... ill have a glass of anger and one for the road...
I like how you put a bit of comic relief at the end of this by adding the comparison to a comic fighting puppet couple. I also really like how short this is, because it's very concise, easy to understand, and every word is important. Your metaphors are really very good, the thing about tears fueling a fight in the way that an IV nourishes a coma victim. I don't mind your title at all, I think taking that part of the piece and having it become the title works. That and I'm not really very good with titles, I tend to use a line or segment from my poem as the title. But anyway, nice job with this, I really don't have any suggestions for improvement, I think I would keep it the way it is. Nice job -Vanessa
Well, I thought Punch and Judy was pretty gross to be honest, puppets are wierd and I hated the violence as a kid, how'd it ever get so popular? Anyway, I haven't really written that much poetry, but your images are great, and I particularly like "glass of anger" as a title, because it's very me.
You have a great talent of expressing yourself without overdramatizing or overuse of words. This was a good poem though I wasn't sure who Punch and Judy were until I asked a friend. Still your poem was very good.
I think that the first four lines could use a little rearranging. Then again, what do I know, eh? I thought thei was really good because it had good imagery and Was like one of those old fashion picture movies in my mind. Like from the 1940's where nobody sees the abuse on a woman form her husband. Broken
it seems to me that people who resort to violence and anger get so frustrated when you don't react the way they want... like you say
watch your teeth clench Anger fills you like a glass Because I refuse To mime that Punch-and-Judy show
i remember Punch and Judy! strange strange... what does that teach children, eh? that it's okay to punch and hit each other. i do hope that this isn't from personal experience, but something tells me it is... good for you for not playing the game! once again you have boiled down this scene into a perfect little minimalist experience!
I like your original comparisons here. but if you hadn't explained who Punch and Judy are I wouldn't have had a clue what you're talking about. anyway I would change the line "My eyes fill with sand" to "and fill my eyes with sand". that puts more empasis on the action that you resist to react on his cruelty like he wants you to. but that's just a suggestion. really good poem.
"Tears feed cruelty Like an IV nourishes A coma victim" Awesome awesome...you are the queen of perfect imagery...I like how you carry the liquid image throughout. I'm a crier...I always give the meanies just what they want.
First of all I like this poem, and the message therein to not feed another's anger by giving them the satisfaction of your tears. I am neutral on the title, not having a better idea myself, I like the glass metaphor, as it says to me that once the glass is full, the rest will spill away, wasted-which i think is what you wanted.
I find it oddly amusing that "Punch and Judy" is a more archaic reference today than Icarus or Selene. I remember these shows,-but from where I cannot recall. Perhaps another life lol.
I am posting an excerpt from there that i found interesting, (I always like to learn the origins of old expressions- )
""- the traditional plot has Mr Punch kill his infant child, then beat his wife Judy to death. He is thrown in prison but escapes using a golden key. He then kills a policeman, a doctor, a lawyer, the hangman, death and the Devil. He murders everyone with huge pleasure, each time squeakily repeating his catchphrase, ďThatís the way to do it!Ē Itís the enormous satisfaction of Punch with his awful deeds that led to the idiom as pleased as Punch appearing at the beginning of the nineteenth century for somebody who was delighted. Punchís pride in outwitting every figure of authority also led to as proud as Punch as an alternative."
See where your minimalist thought can lead one?? Silver
That comparison you made at the very beginning was excellent. It really brought out a visual to how you feel about everything else in the piece. Then you refuse to fill yourself with this glass of anger. I really liked this. Sry such a sort comment! I gotta jet! :) ttyl! Great job. -blt
An attempt to ignore someone's anger is not unlike being a coma victim, who would have the ability to dissipate the anger. That one is right on. You seem to have lifted the title right where the poem hits a climax, so unless you said something like "Your Favorite Poison" or a similar "glass full" of words, I like everything about this. The title, as is, doesn't do it justice, I think. And this time, you should let me name your poem. No, just kidding, but a variation of your own on this might be good. Hugs, Nan