If I Was... by Timmy S. Edgar

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Submission Name: If I Was... dots

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Author:	Timmy S. Edgar
ASL Info:	38 male Melb, Australia
Elite Ratio:	2.6 - 263/200/71
Words:	224

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	1104
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	609

Description:
The one who this is written for; knows!

If I Was... dots

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If I was …

If I was to say …. I love you
What would you say?
Would you run away ?
…. Or would you stay?

If I was to say …. I love you
What would you do?
Would you feel it too…?
….. See it’s just for you!

I love you! …What do you say?
I’m here to stay…. Forever and a day
I love you! …. Turned the sky blue from grey
If one last thing to say …I’m here to stay!

Submitted on 2004-12-06 06:16:32 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  i liked this a lot,
it almost sounded like lyrics to me,
i could almost feel myself wanting to sing along lol,
thanx for sharing
x x x x
| Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]
  Very powerful with such few words. I hope you get the answer you are looking for with this person. You seem to a very passoniate person. Hope it all works out for you.
| Posted on 2004-12-19 00:00:00 | by Pogirl | [ Reply to This ]
  This was sweet. Short, but sentimental. And, sometimes that's all that matters. As long as it gets the emotion conveyed and the point across. Serves the rhetorical triangle, so I find no fault.
~BCute
| Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow. Perfect in every sense of the word. I can't find anything to alter, or anything to change at all. Wow, and that doesn't happen very pften to me. *smiles*

As stated, there is nothing that I would change about this poem had I written this piece myself. Absolutely nothing. The message of Love. Of a True Love. It comes in so many variations, packages, forms and sizes. Both large and small. Thin and wide, but says the same nonetheless.

You captured in this piece perfectly what so many poets to date have struggled to do I believe. I really look forward to reading some more of your works. Truly excellent my friend. Take Care.

"Loquacious Mind"
| Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by Loquacious Mind | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.