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    dots Submission Name: If I Was...dots

    Author: Timmy S. Edgar
    ASL Info:    38 male Melb, Australia
    Elite Ratio:    2.6 - 263/200/71
    Words: 224
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1104
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 609

       The one who this is written for; knows!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIf I Was...dots

    If I was …

    If I was to say …. I love you
    What would you say?
    Would you run away ?
    …. Or would you stay?

    If I was to say …. I love you
    What would you do?
    Would you feel it too…?
    ….. See it’s just for you!

    I love you! …What do you say?
    I’m here to stay…. Forever and a day
    I love you! …. Turned the sky blue from grey
    If one last thing to say …I’m here to stay!

    Submitted on 2004-12-06 06:16:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i liked this a lot,
    it almost sounded like lyrics to me,
    i could almost feel myself wanting to sing along lol,
    thanx for sharing
    x x x x
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]
      Very powerful with such few words. I hope you get the answer you are looking for with this person. You seem to a very passoniate person. Hope it all works out for you.
    | Posted on 2004-12-19 00:00:00 | by Pogirl | [ Reply to This ]
      This was sweet. Short, but sentimental. And, sometimes that's all that matters. As long as it gets the emotion conveyed and the point across. Serves the rhetorical triangle, so I find no fault.
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Perfect in every sense of the word. I can't find anything to alter, or anything to change at all. Wow, and that doesn't happen very pften to me. *smiles*

    As stated, there is nothing that I would change about this poem had I written this piece myself. Absolutely nothing. The message of Love. Of a True Love. It comes in so many variations, packages, forms and sizes. Both large and small. Thin and wide, but says the same nonetheless.

    You captured in this piece perfectly what so many poets to date have struggled to do I believe. I really look forward to reading some more of your works. Truly excellent my friend. Take Care.

    "Loquacious Mind"
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by Loquacious Mind | [ Reply to This ]

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