Wow! Such a powerful poem is so few little words! And it doesn't lack for anything either! This is sooo hard to deal with and sometimes it can last an eternity. It is scary to get involved with someone and put your heart out there on a string! Sometimes you get lucky and they are worth it and sometimes you just get f*cked! Really good write! Take care!
this seemed like an echo to me... quite haunting i thought... perhaps it is the way you structured it but it just seemed like an echo... and perhaps upon hearing the echo you found out what it all meant... that she never loved you and that it is time to move on... you really scarcely said anything and yet at the same time you have said everything... the reader knows enough and is able to fill in the blanks with personal experience... this is a very good write
I like how you structured your poem. especially the break between the first and second stanza, streching the thought from one to the next stanza. but you should write 'you' out. no abbrevitations. it just looks lazy. your poem is pretty simple, but very effective in its simplicity. well done.
Loved the form. It forced me to stop and take in the emotions of the previous stanza before reading the next, and that really set the poem off. When I read the poem, it was like reading thoughts. Great write.
Well I'm glad to hear that this does not apply to you. And I love the format you know:O) Pure genius;O) Its fun to write with limitations on you, although not everyone notices it, its fun when people do.
I agree with Brownsdelight. this peice really shows the emotion of wanting something but knowing that it wont happen, and at the same time giving up on the want/dream of having. once again very good...