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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: left alonedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bentnotbroken
    ASL Info:    25+/m/middle of nowhere
    Elite Ratio:    4.6 - 351/260/38
    Words: 26
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1167
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 187



    Description:
       First of all, this is NOT autobiographical, just something I wrote on the spur of the moment. I think the message is pretty self-explanitory.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsleft alonedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Found out
    U
    Couldn't love me.
    Knowing

    I will
    Think of you,

    All I can do is
    Love you, and deal with
    Losing you.




    Submitted on 2004-12-06 09:26:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      This is really good
    I am one who is usually not fond of curses in poetry but for some reason i am fond of this write
    Nicely worded
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! Such a powerful poem is so few little words! And it doesn't lack for anything either! This is sooo hard to deal with and sometimes it can last an eternity. It is scary to get involved with someone and put your heart out there on a string! Sometimes you get lucky and they are worth it and sometimes you just get f*cked! Really good write! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      this seemed like an echo to me...
    quite haunting i thought... perhaps it is the way you structured it but it just seemed like an echo... and perhaps upon hearing the echo you found out what it all meant... that she never loved you and that it is time to move on...
    you really scarcely said anything and yet at the same time you have said everything... the reader knows enough and is able to fill in the blanks with personal experience... this is a very good write
    | Posted on 2004-12-12 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I like how you structured your poem. especially the break between the first and second stanza, streching the thought from one to the next stanza. but you should write 'you' out. no abbrevitations. it just looks lazy.
    your poem is pretty simple, but very effective in its simplicity. well done.
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the wording in this poem and how it went toghether.really short though I would try to had some mor eto it but still like it.
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm guessing the other too didn't see exactly what it was you did with the structure of this write. It was the first thing I noticed.

    I liked how the body of poem allowed the reader to sense a loss and a longing for something one can't have. yet the shadow of the write shows the despair and anger of the fact.
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      Loved the form. It forced me to stop and take in the emotions of the previous stanza before reading the next, and that really set the poem off. When I read the poem, it was like reading thoughts. Great write.
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by Dark_Dancer | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I'm glad to hear that this does not apply to you. And I love the format you know:O) Pure genius;O) Its fun to write with limitations on you, although not everyone notices it, its fun when people do.

    Another great piece my friend, keep writing:O)

    -Kayla
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. I have had many that I loved enough to lose. It was enough of a blessing to have them when I did. Great write. Short and simple.
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. I have had many that I loved enough to lose. It was enough of a blessing to have them when I did. Great write. Short and simple.
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Brownsdelight. this peice really shows the emotion of wanting something but knowing that it wont happen, and at the same time giving up on the want/dream of having. once again very good...
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by Darkest Flaw | [ Reply to This ]


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