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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: IFdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: grinninggashes
    ASL Info:    17/f/from sumwhere :)
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 154/124/25
    Words: 645
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1196
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1215



    Description:
       I wrote this when i thought i knew what love was. I was NOT in love when i wrote this. I just wanted to be loved so badly but it was a bad breakup but i guess thats where i get my inspiration. Luckily i have someone who cares now


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIFdots
    -------------------------------------------


    If I knew a way to get you back
    Id do it no questions asked
    If I got you back into my arms
    Id never frown again
    If you told me you loved me
    Id probably cry a million tears
    If i could spend one day with you
    Id tell you what was exactly in my heart
    If i could go back to one day
    Id go back to the day i first saw you
    If I ever said anything wrong
    Id take it back
    If there was something you didnt like
    Id change it for you
    What Im trying to say is...
    No one else can have my love
    like you have it
    Ill love you always N forever
    cuz your the one Ill always treasure




    Submitted on 2004-12-06 13:40:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Straight forward piece, it seems...innocent. I liked the youthful approach to the object of affection. I like things a little more complicated, but this was a good read.
    | Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      this was cute, but it's not my type of style. it was sort of that elementary school rhyme scheme, with that 'girl longing after boy that she's madly in "love" with' lines...sorry. that was mean...it's just not my preferred type of writing. i find this type of writing immature, and boring. luckily there's a world full of people with different tastes. :) keep writing.

    -christina.
    | Posted on 2005-02-21 00:00:00 | by cre_dia | [ Reply to This ]
      The Structure of this piece is very uniform, this causing a very free flowing ditty which rolled off of the toungue quite easily...

    http://www.eliteskills.com/z/3005 <-[Wishes Three]

    http://www.eliteskills.com/z/2998 <-[Small & Bonus Piece <- [Kiss Me Timmy]

    http://www.eliteskills.com/z/2980 <-[The Park]

    These are just a couple of relatively short and powerful poems and/or verse, let me know what you think of this assortment :P

    Timmy S. Edgar






    http://www.eliteskills.com/u/Timmy%20S.%20Edgar
    | Posted on 2004-12-19 00:00:00 | by Timmy S. Edgar | [ Reply to This ]
      UHHHHHHHHH! I love your poems for this one Oh my gosh it was just great I loved it I bet kayla sumed up all you needed to fix she couldn't shut up but oh well great job.
    love christina
    | Posted on 2004-12-10 00:00:00 | by POETRY | [ Reply to This ]
      This is cute, it sounds like something that I would write for Ben or something, I don't know... I have been having these really strange images lately, about other people, and you would think that is just mad because I just tattooed his name on my arm, I guess its just nerves or something. I felt really bad this weekend, cuz ben just didn't treat me like he usually does, I understand that he was mad about his bank account mix up thingy, but it just didn't feel close like usual, I felt like I just went through pain for nothing, maybe I am just thinking to much, lmao... this is nice, a nice poem, it helped me get that little bit out of my head.
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]
      really liked this poem, It kind of explains how love is very confusing at least to me, my favorite part in this poem would be "If i could go back to one day
    Id go back to the day i first saw you
    If I ever said anything wrong
    Id take it back
    If there was something you didnt like
    Id change it for you"
    because it says you were willing for the change just to keep something dear
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by ceestyl | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a beautiful poem, I think it was written from the heart and that's what it makes it special. I think I felt identified with it because that's exactly the way I felt a few months ago. I guess that's how it is to be in love!
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by rachel gless | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a sweet little poem. Sometimes though we need to just move and and look and see what is around the corner. I like the last line the most.
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by closebutremote | [ Reply to This ]
      Good poem.

    "If I knew a way to get you back,
    Id do it no questions asked.

    If I got you back into my arms,
    Id never frown again.

    If you told me you loved me,
    Id probably cry a million tears.

    If I could spend one day with you
    Id tell you what was exactly in my heart.

    If I could go back to one day,
    Id go back to the day I first saw you.

    If I ever said anything wrong,
    Id take it back instantly.

    If there was something you didnt like,
    Id change everything for you.

    What Im trying to say is...
    No one else can have my love,
    like you have it.
    Ill love you always and forever,
    "Cuz you're the one Ill always treasure."

    This is a great poem I just patched up a couple grammatical errors, and changed the format. My reasoning behind the two per stanza is because each is a different complete thought, and it also makes your poem appear more presentable. Cute piece though, love stinks doesnt it?

    -Kayla
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
      This is the way i feel all the time...My love is everything to me and i know just what you mean...it makes me feel ok to know people out there feel the same as me when it comes to the ones they love...keep do what your doing and i will keep reading and enjoying them.
    | Posted on 2004-12-07 00:00:00 | by ForJordan03 | [ Reply to This ]


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    36233

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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