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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: to new beginningsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ceestyl
    ASL Info:    18/m/az
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 64/57/22
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 1007
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 414



    Description:
       just kinda mad at the world at this time, dont know really strange and mean at the same time...guess its good to show all emotions right?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsto new beginningsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A calm storm that starts the day
    Chaos envoked within I lay
    Blazing rain that pounds the ground
    Thunderous storms, and still no sound
    A drowning puzzle , and only a peice
    I have no others and no release
    A silent beginning for whom I pray
    Hoping tomorrow starts a new day
    A layer of hate surrounding my core
    Its no longer raining but starting to pour




    Submitted on 2004-12-06 16:52:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Now this was really good. It reads and flows well, and the words you chose to use to describe your thoughts were quite poetic.
    The way you've expressed the "storm within"...

    This line was quite unique. "A drowning puzzle , and only a peice.. I have no others and no release"

    Again, the way you've described the outside weather as being calm, yet the raging storm within is blazing. < wonderful!

    Just great really. I may have to favor this one

    ~ Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      You did a very nice job of putting out the emotion yet in a minimalistic way ~ like Intricate 1 commented, the wording worked very well so it was powerful without being repetitive and drawn out.
    I like the title and it's ok to some days just be out of sorts with the world and things - your new beginning comes!
    Great!
    Love,Peace,Joy! tif ; )
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      chills up the spine. powerful imagery. Just one thing to say about it though. you've got a release...writing, and you are very good at it. Hope to see more of your poetry.
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by Dark_Dancer | [ Reply to This ]
      you've done a great job at expressing your mood in this piece. And it is good to find a release from your downs in writing about them, but will look forward to seeing you write from your happy side. There seems to be an abundance of doom in here now. Always delightful to see a bright poem.
    All the best.
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by arkay | [ Reply to This ]


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