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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Goodbyedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DarkenedSoul
    ASL Info:    30/m/astral dreams
    Elite Ratio:    4.29 - 77/60/17
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 280
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 875



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Goodbyedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tonight I hear the calling;
    the sound of death's sweet melody.
    I feel it calming me, stilling the tides of sorrow
    and the swells of pain that have crashed against
    and eroded my fragile soul for so long.
    I'll embrace its peacefulness in longing desire,
    let life's turmoils, all of my torments;
    be swept away in it's placidness.
    I'll no longer be drowning;
    drowning in hopelessness,
    no longer choke on my despair.
    Farewell my friends, this is my goodbye;
    till we meet again somewhere in the sky.
    Don't cry for me; I'll be ok;
    you see..this pain is killing me,
    hurting so deep and slow.
    I have to say goodbye..so I can let it go.
    Smile when you think of me;
    cause I won't be really gone...just finally set free.




    Submitted on 2004-12-06 19:16:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It is very sad when life has beatin you so badly that death is the only soothing thought. I am sure we all have been in this dark place before. I don't think your write is cliché at all. I can relate to the way you were feeling whn this poured out but writing is a way to sooth the savage animal called pain misery and destruction. Keep writing your pain may make you famous one day. I will read you and understand. Love it kid!
    | Posted on 2005-01-26 00:00:00 | by smalltown | [ Reply to This ]
      although this is cliché, I like it. saying that death is calming you is an interesting thing to say, and it made me think...which is a good thing. :) I also like the metaphor of pain to the ocean. this is a pretty good write, and I feel your pain...don't give up, there's always a sunrise just waiting for you over the horizon. peace be with you.

    In His service,
    shuford
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by littleshuford | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel your pain also. This poem is full of raw emotion, which is good. If you are thinking about suicide, try to channel the emotions. Believe me, death seems calming, but it definately isn't the way.

    I feel it calming me, stilling the tides of sorrow
    and the swells of pain that have crashed against
    and eroded my fragile soul for so long.

    These lines painted a beutiful picture of an ocean of pain, deep and deadly. It had the calming effect, almost like a lethal lullaby. The ending was powerful. You have a gift in poetic language, you let the reader see your thoughts, not jsut read or hear them. It would be a shame to waste it. Well, keep on writting. *shadow
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by Chava | [ Reply to This ]



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