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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shattered Trustdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mort Macabre
    Elite Ratio:    3.65 - 84/85/23
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Misc/Dark
    Total Views: 942
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1096



    Description:
       
    I incorporated what I felt like when I was abused by my dad into this...see a parent, like santa, is the person you'd least expect to break your trust and abuse you. So, yeah. critique and speak.

    ((I know santa doesn't exist alright, I'm using him as a symbol of trust that every kid trusts.))


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShattered Trustdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Clothed in colors of red and white,
    perched atop a roof on Christmas night,
    swift as the wind he slips inside,
    and leaves gifts for the child's delight.

    Eats the confections on the plate,
    and chugs the milk nearby,
    then walks right up to the room,
    with malevolent thoughts inside of his mind...

    Sees the child sprawled out on the bed,
    pink with teddies all around.
    Walks silently up to the edge,
    and removes the bright garb he wears...

    Climbs on top,
    and feels her awake,
    covers her mouth,
    with his lips, full of crumbs...

    Tears escape the child's innocent eyes,
    too shocked to scream out for help,
    as he continues to to defile her mouth,
    while ripping off her hello kitty pajama...

    All through the night,
    Santa has his way with the child,
    nothing left to do since he's delivered all the toys,
    and her parents never know why she becomes so forlorn.

    Merry Christmas




    Submitted on 2004-12-06 22:49:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love this! This is the Christmas that I"m talking about! you have a distorted vision of the Christmas season, and THATS WHAT I LOVE.
    People that don't see through the same lenses that the rest of the world see's through, keep me posted on your future writtings.
    Jaymi
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by theDevilsPocket | [ Reply to This ]
      First, The picture is great. Second, The idea is very original and different from most writes. Third, I like the fact that it's very personal, but allows the reader to understand the event and the feelings within it. Fourth, your a genius for picking a figure like santa clause to represent a villian, it kind of sticks in the readers mind throughout the entire poem. Great Write.
    | Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by Ensult | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow... having experienced the same with my father this really hits home...i feel frozen to the chair and my mind feels numb... you have definitely struck a chord...this is really different from any other poem ive read on this topic and i have read an awful lot.. you have done a fantastic job..not only do you describe the innocence and the hurt of the child but also the depravity of the act...and the picture at the top is very apt...well done! I cant make any suggestions because it is so powerful the way it is.. I am going to add this to my favs...
    | Posted on 2004-12-07 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]


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