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    dots Submission Name: The Searchdots

    Author: Jimma
    ASL Info:    22/m/Melb Aust
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 217/234/54
    Words: 483
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1029
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2999

       OK, most of the time the longer poems submitted around here don't get as many comments. Would appreciate it if you could stick this one out and let me know what you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Searchdots

    I have travelled endless oceans
    I have crossed the deepest seas
    On my search that's almost over
    On my quest into my dreams
    A bottomless, endless ocean
    Filled with dreams, so deep and blue
    A journey without end
    All in search of you

    I have crossed the widest plains
    And climbed the highest walls
    I have scoured cities and countries
    I have searched through empty halls
    I have scaled the steepest mountains
    Traced labyrinths through and through
    I have walked the driest deserts
    All in search of you

    I have wandered through the greatest storms
    Hair matted against my head
    I have descended to the depths of hell
    Through cities of the dead
    I have searched across forgotten plateaus
    In countries seen by few
    I have braved the heat and weathered the storm
    All in search of you

    I have lit a thousand candles
    I have said a million prayers
    I have looked in places where no wise man goes
    Searched where only the bravest would dare
    I have been cold and lost and lonely
    I have been scared, I have been confused
    I have felt like I was going to die
    All in search of you

    I have fallen, I have stumbled
    I have wandered from the path
    I have nearly given up all hope
    But I will keep searching to the last
    I have had prophetic visions
    I have spoken words untrue
    I have erred and felt the pangs of guilt
    All in search of you

    I have burned so many bridges
    Never to be crossed in retreat
    My lips have cracked and my skin has peeled
    In blistering desert heat
    I have been in the midst of bloody battles
    And seen the carnage that ensued
    I have swung a sword to protect my life
    All in search of you

    I have lost my way on mountain passes
    I have swum rivers as wide as the seas
    I have walked through barren, frozen wastelands
    And trudged through forests of mighty trees
    I have searched both far and wide
    Through land and oceans too
    I have met great men and vile criminals
    All in search of you

    I have walked until my legs grew weary
    I have looked until my eyes got sore
    I have wandered sacred pathways
    Where no man has trod before
    I have prayed for some heavenly guidance
    I have sat in the holiest pews
    I have kneeled before the highest altars
    All in search of you

    I have lived my life and spent my years
    Fulfilling a purpose to which I stayed true
    I have risked my life and bared my breast to the storm
    All in search of you
    But now my eyes have opened
    Now I can finally see
    I spent all this time chasing a dream
    When you were standing right in front of me

    Submitted on 2004-12-07 04:36:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very good write, and that's a odd thing comeing form me because I usually don't favor the longer poems. I really felt all of the turmoil that was expressed, but I think that you repeated the oceans' too many times. I doubt that I am as a good a poet as you though, so don't take just my word for it. Good write though... lots of love
    | Posted on 2004-12-07 00:00:00 | by ashlee_jane2003 | [ Reply to This ]
      Awesome. I love the message of this piece and I must agree w/ your statement that the longer pieces normally aren't given their due. You've done a fine job w/ this piece. I love the imagery and the word choice. The story is great and the ending magnificent. There are a few spots where the rhythm is a bit off, but it doesn't detract from the piece and I don't think I could help you with that in any event. Wonderful job. Definitely a fav.
    | Posted on 2004-12-07 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      Clearly you are a fine poet and I am not good enough to help you with this so I will keep my comments to content. So often we do just this. We think that if something is already known and near it cannot be what we are supposed to have. When young I could not wait to leave the place that I am living now. I did leave and after years realized that I was searching for a home that I already had.
    | Posted on 2004-12-07 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]

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