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.: Can You Feel It :.


Author: Timmy S. Edgar
ASL Info:    38 male Melb, Australia
Elite Ratio:    2.6 - 263 /200 /71
Words: 143
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1221
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 921



Description:




.: Can You Feel It :.



Can you feel it
Tell me tell me
Keep you for myself
As I’m not greedy see

Feel good feelings
Rushing over you
Cause these feelings
Are consuming me too

You’re a lovely person
You’re just what I need
True beauty dispersion
My loves power take heed

I’ll tell you now
If the opportunity is given
Near you my love I allow
To your heart my love’s driven

As when I see you
It seems so right
Only thing I want is you
Held in my arm’s so tight

Waited for so long
My patience has paid
Your character is so strong
Together we’ve got it made

Our love is so lovely
And your heart is so pure
You’re my heart’s jewel discovery
I’ve never known love so sure





Submitted on 2004-12-07 12:51:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  i just gotta say YAY FOR YOU!
like seriously... sounds like all the waiting has paid off... when you could maybe have taken second best coz you were lonely or whatever you didnt and here you are now with (what sounds like) the most amazing girlee you could ever imagine... thats something to be damn yay about!
and ooo... it sounds like shes sure a lucky girl to have someone who is able to put feelings/emotions into words... i sure hope your telling her all these things you write... yay for you again! ciao for now!
| Posted on 2004-12-09 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  Our love is so lovely
And your heart is so pure
You’re my heart’s jewel discovery
I’ve never known love so sure

These lines spoken/written spoke to me most. Reminds me of what my Late Boyfriend (Rest His Peace) said to me the night before he died. Spoke a lot to me. Thanks for posting.
~BCute
| Posted on 2004-12-08 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree with the other here, you force the poem.

Now your love and passion for this woman came through loud and clear.

I would suggest re-write,but don't try to make it rhyme
| Posted on 2004-12-07 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree this was kind of wierd to read. It didn't make sense in places. Some places the rhyming sounded kind of forced. I think the topic of this was good. You are going somewhere with it. I can sense the emotion. Just kind of hard to read.
| Posted on 2004-12-07 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
  I do like this, but it was kinda weird to read. It didnt seem to flow as nice as it could have. It might just be me - dont get me wrong though, it was still able to keep my attention.

i did like :
Waited for so long
My patience has paid
Your character is so strong
Together we’ve got it made

I took it as if patience is a virtue. Having patience is one of the best things you can have and usually the best comes out of it.
| Posted on 2004-12-07 00:00:00 | by sone | [ Reply to This ]


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