untitled by anarchyrainsupreme

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Submission Name: untitled dots

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Author:	anarchyrainsupreme
ASL Info:	16/m/usa
Elite Ratio:	0.79 - 82/68/12
Words:	66

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	535
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	433

Description:
i wrote this last night after i woke up from having a dream. I felt this way at the time. however now i have come to terms with it and it is no longer a problem. and i put depressed for the feeling but thats just cause there is no button for dissapointed.

untitled dots

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how could you
you were supposed to be different
perhaps it shouldn't be important.
i tried to forget about it.
but it hurts so much.
it hurts to know that you could
it hurts to wonder if you would
you were supposed to be different.
youve broken no laws
you commited no crime
and it shouldn't be important, but..
you were supposed to be different

Submitted on 2003-12-15 08:53:34 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
soemne please help me give this a name.
| Posted on 2003-12-15 00:00:00 | by anarchyrainsupreme | [ Reply to This ]
Well, it's an improvement. I mean, I said before that your biggest weakness was rhyming, and you definitely handled that a lot better in this poem. *Reads over again* Your punctuation is ungodly screwed up, I know it doesn't seem that important but how is anyone supposed to accurately read and feel something if you can't accurately write it?

Anyhow, on a side note, sounds like you're lying to yourself. I mean, you keep saying that it "doesn't matter" but if it matters to you, then it matters. Don't look at it in such an objective view - there's no gray, just black and white. If it matters to you, then it matters. Get a grip on yourself and confront the problem head on. I mean, I know it's a "dream," but you know I have a strong belief that dreams are just reflections on reality.

Also, reading this poem, it looks like you've set an urealistic expectation for someone. "You were suppsed to be different" repeated over and over again. Different from what? From themself? From everyone else? From you? Either way, you can't expect people not to screw up occassionally, it happens to everyone. Maybe they lie, maybe they do something that someone else asked them not to do, maybe they do something else completely different...it happens. It all just depends on how different people deal with things.
| Posted on 2003-12-15 00:00:00 | by JKPS613 | [ Reply to This ]

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