[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Bruiseddots

    Author: Star_searcher
    ASL Info:    17/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.25 - 114/109/20
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 934
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 413

       I am really struggling with deciding which category this write should go into, poetry or lyrics ... love or longing or you left me?? So I would appreicate feedback on the write and on what category and type you think it falls in to. Thanks.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I let down my guard, let you in.
    I dropped my clothes but I didn't just bare my body,
    I bared my soul.
    I trusted you to love me, take care of me.
    You saw the things that I have allowed no-one to see.
    Now I learn to fall with no safety net to cushion the blow.
    For my heart is bruised, there is a mark you have left,
    Like a loveheart on a tree.

    Submitted on 2004-12-08 14:44:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Youve really captured the vulnerability of women i think with this ...At least i know in my self i see it as a big revealing process to let someone into your "Presence"...And even though feminists all over the world will be bashing at my door ...Its romantic in a sense that the man is in control ..The female is in awe of him...nervous of how he see's her..

    Beautiful ...I love your work and i can see it comes from the heart and isnt forced, which makes poetry so special

    Blessed Be
    | Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed the emotion and you captured how all women ( mostly) feel in the fact we always feel something holding us back in our bodies. How one false man can damage our frail egos of our person. Never let anyone tell you, you are not worthy or beautiful.. if they can not see the true beauty then the hell with them. I know this feeling... a few months ago...8 I think, I was 304 lbs, today I am 145 lbs. and I get offers from men now that would have nothing to do with me when I was over weight, they could not see I was beautiful before... anyway I loved the poem but in some of the lines I found rhyme then in other I found none. I would change that but over all I loved it. by the way I know the poem was not about that see felt about her body but in my first read that stood out.
    | Posted on 2004-12-08 00:00:00 | by raptures | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this poem. I think it would be both lyrics and poetry. It speaks without actual words. You can tell this was written with feelings.
    | Posted on 2004-12-08 00:00:00 | by Karios | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]