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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: High Shelf hI Shelfdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ellisa
    Elite Ratio:    5.51 - 400/415/125
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 668
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 577



    Description:
       late night submission...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHigh Shelf hI Shelfdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Could the black
    Cars prOWl more
    Slow?
    When it rains
    It rains so---
    Slow in my mind
    Itís like bullets
    Are swallowed
    Into these paVemenTs
    StuDDed with Gold.

    Hold each dOOr
    For me
    Bend the LIGHT for me
    Make me sEE
    How you Feel for me,
    But I canít love you
    Not yoU.

    His were eyeS
    Real hands to be HELD
    Mouthing words,
    Hit me like GOLD,
    Never hearing
    What was s@id
    But hIS lips move
    forever




    Submitted on 2004-12-08 16:31:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I have to say I really like this. It simple and it has a certain feel to it, hard to describe. I especially like the part

    Itís like bullets
    Are swallowed
    Into these paVemenTs
    StuDDed with Gold.

    Those lines provided such imagery for me, I loved it. One thing though, please go back and fix your typing. It distracts from the words and will cause alot of people to completley forego even reading it. Other than that, good job!
    | Posted on 2004-12-08 00:00:00 | by ACircuitShock | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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