High Shelf hI Shelf by ellisa

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Submission Name: High Shelf hI Shelf dots

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Author:	ellisa
Elite Ratio:	5.51 - 400/415/125
Words:	80

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	201
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	577

Description:
late night submission...

High Shelf hI Shelf dots

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Could the black
Cars prOWl more
Slow?
When it rains
It rains so---
Slow in my mind
It’s like bullets
Are swallowed
Into these paVemenTs
StuDDed with Gold.

Hold each dOOr
For me
Bend the LIGHT for me
Make me sEE
How you Feel for me,
But I can’t love you
Not yoU.

His were eyeS
Real hands to be HELD
Mouthing words,
Hit me like GOLD,
Never hearing
What was s@id
But hIS lips move
forever

Submitted on 2004-12-08 16:31:52 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
I have to say I really like this. It simple and it has a certain feel to it, hard to describe. I especially like the part

It’s like bullets
Are swallowed
Into these paVemenTs
StuDDed with Gold.

Those lines provided such imagery for me, I loved it. One thing though, please go back and fix your typing. It distracts from the words and will cause alot of people to completley forego even reading it. Other than that, good job!
| Posted on 2004-12-08 00:00:00 | by ACircuitShock | [ Reply to This ]

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