Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Heart of the Sunrise.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Josh
    ASL Info:    17/nh
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 276/226/30
    Words: 282
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 322
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1848



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Heart of the Sunrise.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dream on to the heart of the sunrise
    Lose one to the waves,
    of forgetful numbness
    to regain ones unity to man.
    Play a wrong note to shorten the time
    Notes to make colors
    Match the scene
    Running to hurry,
    but lost in their eyes.

    Tall buildings and small people
    Large gaps and short wind
    Fully encompassing laughter and joy
    A man stands arms outstretched
    song and chance become sky.
    Only up on this large rock
    can the silent valley be viewed
    as a whole of the land, and not a single
    part or atom of nature.
    He smiles a whisper,
    he touches the silence
    In front of a face,
    Of the whole of mankind.

    Surely daybreak will cross my path
    Shadows and light play chase
    Weave and thread through the soft pines
    -Cold winter morning-
    Loving memories dance and mingle.
    God how I wish the sun to stand still,
    Blindly wishing to see the flame of warmth
    Crying out
    Workings of man
    Driven far from the beaten paths
    Sanity a challenge directly to
    Face the men's dreams.

    Run away but,
    turned around to meet time
    -face to face-
    Nose of Touch danced between the two
    Embers of life flourishe and disappeare
    Joy and excitement consumed the land.
    Man of peace won, a common messiah.
    Time assembled the stars,
    left the great earth.
    The sunrise now marks that spot.
    Songs of delight wash over the spinning wake
    of the Oceans of indfference.
    Great heights of knowledge
    Vast plains of everyday life.
    Plateaus of youth and love make you see,
    that the more you live,
    The more you must let go.




    Submitted on 2004-12-09 17:17:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "the more you live
    the more you must let go"

    those lines mean a lot to me.
    a lot.

    i was drawn to read this poem by the title. which goes to say it served its purpose.

    i like the broken lines and mixed metaphors, like a sunrise the words go as quickly as they come.
    | Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by fallingingreen | [ Reply to This ]
      Haven't read your poems in quite a while, but as always, awestruck. The lines that seemed to stick in my memory were the ones about meeting time face to face for time can take on so many different forms for people, depending on who you are. This poem just seems to radiate the idea of something bigger than us whether God or time. Personaly, I choose time but maybe thats the teenage rebellion speaking in me. I find myself babbling and only reaching the tip of the knowledge you have poured into this poem but for now, fare thee well.
    | Posted on 2004-12-12 00:00:00 | by impassive sky | [ Reply to This ]
      Do you ever tire of being so great at using your imaginations? I mean come on how do you do it? I just want to know. It vertually flawless. I hate you for being so great. jk
    I love your work. Keep it up.
    Kacey
    | Posted on 2004-12-11 00:00:00 | by Lachesis | [ Reply to This ]
      alas, i have found another of your poems that delves too deep for me at this time (especially since i'm tired.) i was, as usual, bombarded with images like organised paint splatters. and, as usual, the tone quality is like an ancient chant. so putting aside that for most of it i was in a trance, the one line that stuck out farther than the rest was:
    Shadows and light play chase
    for the rest of the piece, i had this swirling vortex vision of light and shadow, that constant chase you speak of...dizzying.
    i must read this again when i am feeling more coherent. until then, bonsoir.
    | Posted on 2004-12-10 00:00:00 | by osweetrepose | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. This was exceptional. First off, let me just say this is going into my favourites.
    Second off, let me just say there weren't any technical errors I could find. Form was okay, flow was great, the structure was intruiging, and overall it gets 12 out of purple. Purple having the value of ten. Just for now

    Anyway, I loved the ideas you expressed behind this, in what seemed to be stating it at the same time as metaphorically implying it.

    It seemed to be like an apolcalyptic view of sorts, or rather that of such a view on the first day of the morning after. Like some huge ominious event apporaching, and one admiring the world before and after it, even though the world itself had been split and divided into different segments.
    Like the mind.

    Anyway, just my two cents.
    Awesome job! Keep it up!
    ~Spire~
    | Posted on 2004-12-09 00:00:00 | by Spire | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, this is very interesting. The idea of describing the beauty of nature always manage to fascinate me.

    Your choice of words is rather commendable, and there a lot of images created by those words...maybe too much images for my taste...I find it kind of consfusing, especially when it is a relatively long piece. I felt that I got lost within the words and the images created by them, that I could no longer comprehend the outline or the story within...maybe there is not any...I am not sure.

    You are using "free verse" style, I understand that, but you might wanna consider use "rhyming" a little more often, since good rhyme -when used properly- gives an exquisite for the piece, and the way the poet move between both the "free verse" and "rhyming" usually reflects how talented he/she it.

    "Large gaps and short wind
    Fully encompassing laughter and joy"

    The metaphor created by using the word "short" to describe the wind sounds a little weird to me...I am not sure why..And that second line: "Fully encompassing...", just sounds strange to me, I just can not seem to comprehend it.

    Anyway, these were my thoughts, nothing more, I hope it were helpful, if not; then feel free to ignore them.

    Yaser Hani (aka The Beast)
    | Posted on 2004-12-09 00:00:00 | by Beast | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey there. Haven't heard from ya in a while. How are ya?

    Another beautiful piece of writing my dear. Don't change it a bit.

    more you live
    The more you must let go

    So true. Much love to ya babe.
    | Posted on 2004-12-09 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.