Description: when my boyfriend lies to me...these are all the things i have to do to get him to tell the truth but sometimes he still lies to me.-says it b/c he doesnt want to hurt me...i dont know what to believe.
Lie to Me -------------------------------------------
I scream
I cry
I beg
I plead
but you
lie to me.
I yell
I stomp
I cut
I bleed
you only
lie to me.
I hit
I scratch
I bite
I need
still you
lie to me.
Mmmm...yeah I know how you feel on this one. I had a girlfriend who would only ever admit things once i had presented her with irrefutable evidence to prove it. drove me nuts, absolutely did my head in.
unfortunately for this boy, if you live a lie you die a liar, so i hope he grows out of it in time, or you manage to beat some honesty into him :o)
The simplicityl shows the exposion of pain and raw suffering each time he lies, I think the form is sinmple but it is straight foward laying the ideas and emotions painly in front of the reader. You stay, though I am not sure, I think it might be helpful to address this in the poem, the last stanza is my favorite the words flow together so well and jthe words chossen I think express what you truely want, not to say that the rest of the peom is horrible, but this just emulates the feelings you want to express.
wow. kayla. Short and to the point. I like the refrain, lie to me. Its short and snappy, really conveys your point. I dont really know what to tell you about him...I usually have all the answers...but I cant even answer my own probs at the moment...Oh well. I just hope that things work out for you and steven...
I like this one - it is simple and yet so full of emotion - sometimes simple words say it best and there is no need to dress things up...good luck with future pieces and well like i said i like this one
I loved this form. Though it is something that I may never adopt, this is always lovely to look at. It was both slelnder and pleasant to the eye, as was the message. There is only one thing which seemed to bother me the entire poem through, and this was concerning the vocabulary used.
I wished that you would have used a greater range of vocabulary, rather than that clichéd dictionary of terms that we hear day in and day out. But I guess that if you had, then we would not be able to enjoy your form, it would become distorted due to the elongation of the lines, caused by that vocabularic modification, so I guess that this is fine.
The vocabulary, although quite basic, created that sense of helpless waiting and tensing 'pon the edge of Defeat. I liked that. Tender and Frail, yet not Broken. Take Care.
Submission Name: Lie to Me
"Loquacious Mind" 