Rose Dust (Capital Lettering) -------------------------------------------
the forgotten petals that
her Special Someone
dropped (accidentally?) into the flames
did He mean to give them to her
and sometimes she wondered
when it fell across her nostrils
filling her throat and lungs with the
powerful narcotic of reminiscence
was it (accidentally) at all?
did He forget her Upper-Case Day
these days, people with lower-case letters
with their worn-out names
never begin to make it in this world
i actually got a lot of things out of this piece... more than i expected.
it inched close to lower-case letters being the non-conformists, the indigenous people or the minority in general that seem to have a certain radiance that could aid the mental and spiritual growth of the world but were denied attention out of fear or the usual narrow-mindedness of those in power.
in the area of love... this came across as a doomed affair for social reasons. the division could most likely be financial, social or political... it could also go to a religious level but that would seem unfair as to say that one religion appears weaker than the other. whatever it was, the line that separated them was quite powerful since it was able to make them deny their emotions, allow it to pass them by or be stoical with regards to its influence in a sense that the pain of “what-could-have-been” haunts them.
i am, however, confused as to why you chose to capitalized the last rose. a personal reason, perhaps? or was it because you wanted to signify the importance of the rose as something that isn't part of the lower-case letters?
i think it is safe to say that the rose dust is a symbol for those that have something to offer but were wasted. roses are beautiful but like everything else consumed by the flames of existence… it turns to ash that seems dissolve in the air… with its beauty lost.
i think it is also safe to say that… this piece is brilliant and that it will not turn into rose dust quite easily.
Being a superweird person, I looked up your reply to the above comments for help understanding this poem. i really liked the first stanza; the rest was confusing, but i understood things in little epiphanies. I think that the second time you say "accidently" it should have a question mark as well; otherwise it seems weird to keep just the word in parentheses. i'm not sure that i like the word "purposefully" in capitals. it does give a lot of emphasis, but i think having it on a line all by itself does that enough and it detracts from your overall commentary on upper/lowercase letters
OK, I liked this piece to tis fullest up until here:
"Or did He forget her Upper-Case Day PURPOSEFULLY?
most likely. these days, people with lower-case letters with their worn-out names never begin to make it in this world
(they just end up becoming Rose dust)"
The captial lettering through me off. I wasnt sure if you meant that no one spelled thier names in caps anymore because it wasnt "cool" and to do so would be to be an old prune. Thats the image I had at least. The ending was good, althoguh I didnt get it till my second read. The lower-case people all get their heart broken I suppose?
This is probably one of the most refreshingly different writes I've read in a while. For some reason immediately at home with the language, the phrasing and most importantly the idea. And yes abstract and maybe that's why - because I don't see any good reason why it should be easy. Delighted too that there's no description, no immediate handrail but the title is evocative and gives an important steer toward what to expect.
I rarely leave without fafing with something and this is no exception because I think that some appropriately placed punctuation will bring more out of this. Like adding just the right amount of salt to a hard boiled duck egg...
Rose dust: the forgotten petals that her Special Someone dropped (accidentally?) into the flames. Or did He mean to give them to her instead?
Rose dust: and sometimes she wondered, when it fell across her nostrils, filling her throat and lungs with that powerful narcotic named reminiscence, was it (accidentally) at all? Or did He forget her Upper-Case Day PURPOSEFULLY?
Most likely. These days, people with lower-case letters, with their worn-out names never begin to make it in this world.
(they just end up becoming Rose dust)
I really like the barely concealed shoulder-slumping misery that thoughtlessness can cause.
I have been known to have issues with careless malice. This reminds me of some of them.