Just Walk Away by AmandaLyn

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Submission Name: Just Walk Away dots

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Author:	AmandaLyn
ASL Info:	18/F/ Centralia
Elite Ratio:	3.59 - 292/292/42
Words:	118

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	334
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	804

Description:
Yeah, the greatest inspiration for writing poetry.... a great heartbreaking! lol! anyways hope you all enjoy it.....

Just Walk Away dots

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How can you just walk away?
After all these years,
you found no reason to stay?
I'll cry no more tears.

Just walk away,
don't say another word
you don't wanna stay,
at least that's what I heard.
Just walk away.

How can you just walk out
leave me the last one trying?
You're taking the easy route,
while I'm left here crying.

Just walk away,
don't say another word
you don't wanna stay,
at least that's what I heard.
Just walk away.

How can you just walk away?
In five words I knew
you found no reason to stay.
If you don't love me, then who?

Just walk away.

Submitted on 2004-12-11 16:07:46 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  it's a nice write but not much more. sorry. it seems more like a song than a poem because of the refrain. that was nicely made but the rest is lacking something. "You're taking the easy route,/while I'm left here crying" is kind of cliché. doesn't give me much. give me the story behind it. give me some details. tell me for example why he didn't want to stay. it's too general. the way it is written now it could be written by anybody.
| Posted on 2004-12-12 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
  i like the refrain. very few writers can get away with refrains and not have it sound repetative (SP?). this is a good piece. the first stanza and is great. sounds a lot like "screw this i am tired of crying for someone who doesnt have sense enough to know they caused tears." it sounds like a great closure piece.

somthing i did notice though. it shifts from an I'll just walk away piece to a YOU walk a away piece. i like that shift it seems to personify the change and displacment of blame from ones self after a break up. it adds a lot to the voice.

<3 Bless the broken road
| Posted on 2004-12-11 00:00:00 | by Printer Shock | [ Reply to This ]
  a good write, but it sounds really sad...sniff...I think you have a great gift in writing...you have alot of emotion in your choice of words which makes for a read that is never dull...I think you could write very passionate worship songs!
ttul-
Shawn
| Posted on 2004-12-11 00:00:00 | by Shawnothan | [ Reply to This ]
  Great write Amanda i liked the repetition and it sounds like a good song to me also...you are correct there is nothing like heartbreak for inspiration..
| Posted on 2004-12-11 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
  WOW..it is tue about a heartbreak being a good inspiration for poetry.. i liked this poem.. the format remionded me alot of like a song, because you repeated the second stanza..
my facorite stanza's were the 3rd and 5th ones.. i know the feeling of it...so it is easy, i think, for other people to relat to it as wel...well again great poem..bye
| Posted on 2004-12-11 00:00:00 | by medicated | [ Reply to This ]
  This poem is really good. I can feel the emotion in it, which is one of the things I look for in a poem. I also really like the words you used in the poem. That would be the other thing I look for in poems. So all in all this poem was good. keep up the good work.
| Posted on 2004-12-11 00:00:00 | by EL | [ Reply to This ]

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