When I awake
To my mirror
I hastily make
To meet my friend
Whose eyes of glee
Are always happy
Just to see me.
| I am going against the flow and suggesting that maybe this isn't a self-portrait, but a persona poem relating to someone... No, I dare not hint at whom the speaker might be. If I'm right however, ho-ho I agree, tee-hee! I had better shut up now, though I think the person too conceited to even suspect that it has anything to do with...ahem, yes, enough said.||| Posted on 2004-12-13 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ] || Loved it. There's a lot of times I'm just happy to get up and out of bed.,at least you know there's someone happy to see you.||| Posted on 2004-12-13 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ] || Yes short and sweet and unashamedly narcissistic - but that's alright because we all of us are to a greater or lesser degree.|
You're simply articulating this trait in a short diary entry.
The body of the work is a bit forced and awkward here and there and the caps at the start of each line cause mental hiccups, cause a fresh appraisal of something already begun. I don't think you need that in work this slim:
when I awake,
to the mirror
I quickly make
to meet my friend,
whose eyes so full of glee
seem always happy
to see just me.
That's what I'd do with this if I were to write it.
I'd make it move along a bit more easily and probably examine the idea of mirror-gazing a bit more fully.
|| Posted on 2004-12-12 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ] || i like this, one truely is his/her true best friend. at least you have someone there always right! this was cute i love the reality of it.**||| Posted on 2004-12-12 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ] || Ty for sharing your light. though it short, the message is life lasting.|
I tried that once and and missed the toilet,lol
|| Posted on 2004-12-12 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ] || Short and sweet... I like the rhythm of the words and the flow that you've created with the rhyme. I stumbled a bit over the last line but other than that I love it. You don't have to be a certain age to be happy about meeting this specific friend... ||| Posted on 2004-12-12 00:00:00 | by sugar-n-spice | [ Reply to This ] || One doesn't have to be as old as you |
to appreciate the mirror's view.
Hee hee. Nice little piece. I loved it. I've also discovered the friend in the mirror. This friend never leaves and is always there for me, even when noone else is. She may not always look her best, but she looks like only she can look, and that's the most beautiful thing in the world, I've found. Thank you for this little pick me up: it's very cute.
|| Posted on 2004-12-12 00:00:00 | by eener | [ Reply to This ] |