Is the horse named Alice cause if it is then the Smug One knows that horses don't sing all that great. Which leads me to believe that the people purposely forced out the memory of a horses horrible voice binging off each sides of their mind...Did the horse also have a set of feet instead of hooves cause if so then I would like to see that picture.
Simply beautiful. There's really no other way to describe this piece. It was so short, yet each line said more than some poems can say in two pages. Personally, I don't think you have to expand on this. I loved the last line, and I think it left this just right. The only thing I might change though, it possible adding punctuation. Other than that, this was a really wonderful piece. keep up the fantastic work!
Sounds a little bittersweet, but pretty all the same. I won't tell you to make it longer, because it's your poem. If you wrote it for yourself, then write it the way you want to. If not, well my advice is to make it longer. The deeper it is the more of you we see.
Hey there. Beautiful and simple. I like it. I don't have any corrections or suggestions for ya. Seems to me that this piece is full of potential. I'd love to see it if you add to it as you said you might. Anyhoo...much love to ya. :-)
Yes, everyone loves a good mystery. This poem works on its own but it could also be a lead into a good story. It's a dilemma, what to do, what to do? This left an impression as it is, and I don't know which would be the greater shame. Not to develop it further, or to go into it and reveal more about it. I have no clue what I'd do.
'Like the story that we wish was never ending We know some time we must reach the final page Still we carry on just pretending That there'll always be one more day to go
Far away, away, fading distant lights Leaving us all behind, lost in a changing world And you know that these are the days of our lives, remember" -Genesis "Fading Lights"