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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shower of Tearsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet-fire
    ASL Info:    21/f/ky
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 296/279/42
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 329
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 724



    Description:
       this was inspired by raineyes...i read a number of her poems about tears that i totally related to and she open'd up a new part of me that wanted to express the beauty of hidden secrets...i didnt do so well-i know but i have a hard time expressing myself-suggestions are appreciated!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShower of Tearsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You hurt me once again
    As you always do.
    Tears fill my eyes.
    I cant let them fall.
    Not here in front of everyone.
    No, they cant see.
    Not that side of me.
    Ive got to hide them.
    I run to the safety of my shower.
    Here, no one can tell.
    No one will ever know.
    I can let down my guard.
    I can finally let my tears fall freely.
    Their hidden in the midst.
    My body is soaked in tears.
    But no one will ever know.
    They will never see this side of me.
    When its over, I dry my tears.
    I take a deep breath and brace,
    To face the world once again.
    My tears will always be safe in my shower.




    Submitted on 2004-12-13 10:38:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You took this right where I thought this should go. Crying in the shower is safe, because no one sees you. I liked the open and raw feel to this. I think your words portray a person who tries not to be vulnarable. and makes herself look well together and strong. SomethingI can soooooo relate to. I was not disappointed. I think that maybe you could have elaborated on how the guy hurt the women. Other than that, fine job!

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this ...Obviously its really sad ...But i just loved the flow and the wording so much ...i still felt happy reading it ...I know about putting up false fronts and pretending i have it together and im strong ...
    Loved it ...Great job
    | Posted on 2005-02-07 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      awww...kayla...this was really good...sad:( but good. Im sorry I wasnt here the other day for you to talk to...I tried to be here...but oh well. Dont worry, things will work out between you and steven, ok? Dont make haste assumptions or do anything stupid, which I KNOW you wont. Im sorry for all the pain he seems to be causing...but whoever said love came easy? Im always here for you, just remember that.
    OLIVE JUICE!

    ->Dark
    | Posted on 2004-12-15 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]
      We can wash away a lot of things with a shower, but not the problems of a bad relationship. That takes courage, communication, and committment.

    Your poem shows the fear by one side of such a relationship. It gives a sense of safety to being in the shower, with an undertone of shame. One should never be afraid to show one's feelings. You've depicted a scene of helplessness, of someone hiding from the reality of life, from the reality of a bad situation.
    Your descriptions are charged with emotion, which makes for good poetry, but fill the reader with fear for the narrator. We end up hoping that they get out of this dreadful relationship, and have the courage to share their emotions openly. This is a very powerful poem, because it brings all of the mixed emotions, I just mentioned, into the mind of the reader. "To face the world once again" is exactly what your narrator needs to do, "my tears will be safe in the shower", but not your heart and mind.
    This poem is well written, although I think you meant "it's over" and "am ready". Otherwise a highly charged and enjoyable write.

    Phil
    | Posted on 2004-12-13 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]



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