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    dots Submission Name: The Phantomdots

    Author: Dark_Dancer
    ASL Info:    18/F/Washington
    Elite Ratio:    3.44 - 174/164/96
    Words: 42
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 863
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 317

       This one wasn't thought out too well. Just written for emotion's sake.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Phantomdots

    I am phantom
    Silent essence
    Nothin more
    And sometimes
    Something less

    I scream aloud
    And no one hears
    It only creates
    A second's breeze
    I cry aloud
    And the black hole covers
    One more day
    And I won't mar the phantoms.

    Submitted on 2004-12-13 12:46:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Some pessimistic note...Although it's short, anyway it is impressive. The idea could be that...you want somebody to listen to you, but noone does...and you feel all alone...:?! Lonely phatom with a screaming soul...longing for understanding, well that what comes to my mind...great, great, I like such themes...
    | Posted on 2005-01-23 00:00:00 | by Dana | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a good piece i like how you wrote it. although it was to short for me, i still favor this one for today. i guess this is about how people feel that they are non existant like a phantom.

    Silent essence
    Nothin more
    And sometimes
    Something less

    this connects to how people feel when they are ignored, rejected-un-noticed. you wont "mar the phantoms".. you wont disfigure that feeling of being left alone. this is something anyone can connect to, or easily type about. yours was a bit harder to analyze and connect to my philosophy--experiences, so i really enjoyed this one.

    thanks for sharing...
    | Posted on 2004-12-13 00:00:00 | by nameless child | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't quite understand this poem. The rythm is good. It was easy to read. Just not easy for me to understand. Yet, that's not hard. I am easily confused. So here I am commenting because I always comment no matter what. Plus you always comment on mine so I'll Pay it back.

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2004-12-13 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]

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