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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Red Tattoodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 702
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 638



    Description:
       I broke the lines up oddly on purpose, but if it doesn't work, let me know.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Red Tattoodots
    -------------------------------------------


    My body broke out in a rash of red words
    a cryptic text covered my face, abdomen, legs,
    and upon my back the scarlet words
    were reversed for easy reading in a mirror.
    As I decode the meaning of this
    mystifying, mythical script,
    the lines dissappear into the ether.
    All that remains is a circle
    of calligraphy around my navel:
    just a few letters that taunt me,
    but I look at them with dread.
    I fear that understanding them will end my days,
    for the meaning of life is a quest for knowledge;
    I'll keep my red tattoo as a symbol of the voyage.




    Submitted on 2004-12-14 04:38:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I draw a parallel to this one and one I just posted titled "The Soul's origin". I think you and I must agree on this philosophy. This (and mine) touches on the idea that life is a journey...not a destination. And I share your idea that knowing a definitive answer to "life" may end my days...for your journey of life would be over.

    Love how the wisdom is etched into your skin...draws up the image of Rolling Stones "Tatoo you" cover.

    I like the line breaks where they are...nice rhythm that fits the theme well.
    | Posted on 2004-12-20 00:00:00 | by marysunshine | [ Reply to This ]
      I found the style you wrote this in to be interesting, almost sonnet-like, the story unwound simply, an easy read. It is a good effort, and seems to have all the required parameters...Ruthie
    | Posted on 2004-12-18 00:00:00 | by ruthiejuers | [ Reply to This ]
      First off I think the way you broke the lines worked fantastically. I can relate to this in the way that I feel the day I stop having problems sleeping, is the day I lose all inspiration to write...I know it probably sounds weird, but my insomnia is the worst when I have writers block. and they day I can fall asleep without any trouble is the day I have nothing left to write about...I think thats when I will consider myself sane. My thought is, does the quest for knowledge ever truly end? I loved the image you painted of caligraphy, in fac I hate to make the reference cause of my alias an all but it made me think of the elvish writing in the lord of the rings I see it in my head as I did when I read the trilogy time and again. Quite mystifying indeed. Yet another one of your pieces thats got my brain pumping! Bravo!-John
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by Mithrandir | [ Reply to This ]
      This is nice and all. I just don't like it. I think the simplified message is "just keep swimming" or something along those lines, and that oyu don't have to figure everything out. MAybe i;m wrong. I actually like that idea, the philosphy. For some reason, i just can't get my brain to like th' poem. Ohhhh...wait. Life is a quest for knowledge, so if you figure out the secret, your qvest is OVAH, and you gotta die. WELL DON'T THAT SUCK? Well... ok. I like it more now.
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
      Geez, so many things here. I fear that understanding them will end my days/For the meaning of life is a quest for knowledge...I love this, though it almost seems like the lines should be reversed for maximum build up and effect. Either way, I love that concept.

    As for the rash, it makes me feel like maybe I'm not the only one that often feels covered in words and phrases. It's a warm blanket, but frustrating all the same because the natural reaction to it is to try and put them down in a form and order that makes sense. Better than the alternative of the Big Blank I guess, but not always any easier. I bet this rash comes most often in the wee hours when the last thing you want to do is make sense of anything. Nice how you broke them down to a few key words around your navel (where it all started right?) and still can't make sense of them.

    Very odd and creative, but then again, we've all come to expect that of you.
    | Posted on 2004-12-15 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      odd line breaks?? where?? did you change that or are odd line breaks so normal to me that I don't recognize them anymore??
    anyway I like this poem very much. very vivid descriptions. I could easily see it before my eyes. the scarlet letters always remind me of the scarlet A you had to wear on your chest for adultery centuries ago. but you have scarlet words on your back.
    | Posted on 2004-12-15 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the depth of this and how you've used the juxtaposition of imagination to carry your theme. No, if we did figure it out, it would end, so we accept mystery, as a given. Hopefully we learn to revel in just being.
    Maybe the osmosis of cosmos ideas is the fruitful feed we all receive, skin bearing ideas, excuse me, wait, I gotta go write,
    thanks for sharing this, I love it.
    nan
    | Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the idea of words attacking, so to speak, you leaving a red tattoo. I just find this whole write tantalizing. Sort of illegal *don't ask me why cause I don't know, just seems that way*. I loved this though. I hope you always keep that red tattoo to remind you of reasons why you write. :) Excellent.
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      kinda like the measles, eh? "word teasles" you could call it... sounds like you are obsessed by words. so much obsession causes you to break out in word hives! then they just disappear into your skin to be gathered together in your soul for decodification! yeah, very interesting poem. very unique!
    | Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Mmmm? I don't really understand it. I liked the direction you were going at first. . . the whole words being a rash thing. . . but then it kinda faded off and the poem got sorta weak. I don't know; I think it was the part where you talked about life being a voyage and the tattoo being a reminder; I think that could definitely use some work. I dunno; I just didn't feel it.
    -Secret
    | Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by secret moon | [ Reply to This ]
      mystical and mystifying...maybe too alike to work side by side. but mystical and mythical are great. I've enjoyed reading this a few times over and gleaning fresh things from it each time - an earmark of a great writing process.
    the focus on the navel area really works here, has an oriental, rebirth, feel that goes well with the questing after knowlegde and the circular pattern of life as a whole. good write.
    | Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by Jemma Dumptruck | [ Reply to This ]
      This almost implies that your naval is on your back, which would get you a job in almost any circus! But I did follow that the rash is all over your body including your abdomen. It's just that you go from speaking about lines on your back disappearing and then switch over to your naval. The Mystifying line, when you read it out loud it does bring to mind something akin to Daffy Duck spraying his S's.
    But I still got a good image off this. Something like a henna decoration more than a tat.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't quite get the specific symbolism behind this but it does seem clever. I'd be interested to find out what may have brought something like this on...
    | Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by gavinspikenard | [ Reply to This ]
      Not really my cup of tea but like the way you run with the concept and merge words. I believe that the poet needs to communicate a concept with emotion that is understandable to the "average" reader
    | Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by ARCHIE | [ Reply to This ]
      You've pulled this one off brilliantly... I love the idea of writing all over your body and finally the red tattoo... you come up with the whackiest ideas and manage to portray them with such style. Great write.
    | Posted on 2004-12-15 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]


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