Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Look Up

Author: AmandaLyn
ASL Info:    18/F/ Centralia
Elite Ratio:    3.59 - 292 /292 /42
Words: 148
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 1609
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 899


The mention of father is in reference to my heavenly, not earthly father... I need to revise this later, it's still not all I wanted it to be. AND it's kinda in the works for a song....

Look Up

There are days
when I'm not feeling too pretty,
yeah, I feel rather plain.
I have days when I wanna give up,
yeah, I know how it goes.

But I look up.
I look up to my Father.
I close my eyes and raise my hands.
I look up,
He calls my name,
and He comforts me.

There are days
when my tears won't seem to dry,
yeah, it gets real tough.
I have days as dark as night,
yeah, I know it seems that way.

But I look up.
I look up to my Father.
I close my eyes and raise my hands.
I look up,
He calls my name,
and He comforts me.

He's the light beyond those clouds,
the rainbow in the storm.
See Him, He's waiting for you,
He's my hope for life,
Feel Him, He loves you.

Submitted on 2004-12-14 22:37:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  i am not one to talk to ceilings much, but this is good. you open your heart and pour out your soul.

you are right about it working for a song. there is a great rhythm and flow. ^five. talk to you soon.

<3 Bless the broken road
| Posted on 2004-12-15 00:00:00 | by Printer Shock | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow! I give you 5,ooo pointos for a beautiful prayer and praise poem! lol...wanna record this one too? I loved this..I mean, really really!
Wwhat an awesome expression of trust in God who is the most loving Father! Thanks, and this goes on favs!
| Posted on 2004-12-15 00:00:00 | by Shawnothan | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm thinking 50% of poets are christian...the rest are depressed basically...I enjoy these kind of poems much more: you've expressed your turning to God for strength amazingly and I know that he finds your act of worship through poetry beautiful...Thankyou for the read...Dave
| Posted on 2004-12-15 00:00:00 | by littlecoombs | [ Reply to This ]
  amanda, that was awesome.. i see nothing u need to fix.. great job.. never give up that bold faith you have.. ill be looking out for more from ya..
| Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by AnointedPoetess | [ Reply to This ]
  i always admire someone who puts their faith out there on the page. this does read like a song. it is very simple and speaks of your faith that God will be here for you, no matter what.
| Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  I love your faith in God,bravo

He is smiling about your love for him and your poem.

I love the simple straightforward way you wrote this and how you kept looking up. this show your faith, not just for the good times but anytime.

Keep writing and I will keep reading
| Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, I'm not one to talk to "celing" either, but I'll sure talk to God. This is an excellent poem. I love how it describes the Father as the light waiting behind the cloud. He's right there. All we need to do is go to Him.
| Posted on 2005-01-09 00:00:00 | by sphen | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?