Life Without You by AmandaLyn

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Submission Name: Life Without You dots

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Author:	AmandaLyn
ASL Info:	18/F/ Centralia
Elite Ratio:	3.59 - 292/292/42
Words:	81

Class/Type:	Poetry/Longing
Total Views:	412
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	513

Description:
yup, typical break-up writing.....sorry!

Life Without You dots

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So this is life without you,
still looking for the sun
behind the clouds
after the rain,
looking for that pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow.

So this is life without you,
searching for anything, anyone
to fill this empty space.
I wipe my tears
and live one more day,
day to day.

So this is life without you,
you left with my heart
and my soul
longing for your touch
and your love.

Submitted on 2004-12-14 22:43:30 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  ok damnit. how many times do i have to tell you NOT to apologize for what you write.

so yeah. good stuff though.

So this is life without you,
still looking for the sun
behind the clouds
after the rain,
looking for that pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow.

thats happy if you ask me. talking about looking for the pot of gold. sounds like somthing i would do. do me a favor. go read "I'm really happy when..." and "Tidal Torment" this reminds me of those.

feel better love. keep pushing forward and i will talk to you soon. *hugs*

<3 Bless the broken road
| Posted on 2004-12-15 00:00:00 | by Printer Shock | [ Reply to This ]
  You paint some really clear pictures here: without feeding all the details: which allows the reader to fill the gaps with their own idea of what you are feeling. It makes the poem able to be personalised instead of just being for you. The backbone of the poem is quite strong...with good flow...but once again, like the others below have said, the end just needs a little something
| Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by littlecoombs | [ Reply to This ]
  hmmm... im not sure if its finished enough for me... the doesnt really feel like an end at all...
i was attracted to reading this as i have a poem called my life without you and i was interested as to how similar the two were...
sadly my boy died which is why i didnt have him but i am left with some of the feelings expressed in this poem. something that struck me was that if we are looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow it is a life long mission... not something we pick up and put down when we have significant others in our lives so in someways i took from that that life still goes on whether he is in your immediate world or not... good write
| Posted on 2004-12-14 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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