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    dots Submission Name: What to dodots

    Author: grinninggashes
    ASL Info:    17/f/from sumwhere :)
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 154/124/25
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 779
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 695


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    dotsWhat to dodots

    The look in your eyes,
    the beat of your heart
    I wish you would have known how i felt
    from the start

    The love of your smile
    the warmth of your hugs
    makes me feel so special
    just because

    Love can be painful
    but also will bring happiness
    then your world turns upside down
    when you get that first kiss

    He makes you feel special
    like no one else matters
    but then he'll break your heart
    and you'll feel it shatter

    Im sure he didn't mean to bring pain
    he will say hes sorry
    now alls left to do
    is take your drama to maury

    Submitted on 2004-12-15 10:22:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Awsome, i love it, you had such feeling poured out into it, you write alike i do. i really enjoyed reading your work good job, and keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2004-12-15 00:00:00 | by Solemn Star 88 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very effective writing. I liked the controlled rhythm of the poem. Sometimes people run into difficulty with rhyming such as this since they fall in the trap of forcing words into the lines to make it rhyme and end up with a sloppy result. Not you... you've done a great job in producing a perfect love poem. Great stuff!
    | Posted on 2004-12-15 00:00:00 | by sugar-n-spice | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the line of taking it to Maury...and the poem itself had a very nice rhyme scheme to it. Very emotional yet not in an overhwelming way which made the poem itself even all the more interesting to begin with...overall great job and I enjoyed the read. Take care...

    | Posted on 2004-12-15 00:00:00 | by Geremy Smith | [ Reply to This ]
      Taking it to maury funny funny funny stuff there it was really good I liked it aot well it was nice to hear someone that feels the same way you do. great write
    | Posted on 2004-12-15 00:00:00 | by POETRY | [ Reply to This ]

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