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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pinatadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1282
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 232



    Description:
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    dotsPinatadots
    -------------------------------------------


    He'd filled her
    with cruelty and lies
    for years
    until the day his fists flew
    cracking the skin
    above her brow
    making her emotion spill
    like candy
    from a pinata.




    Submitted on 2004-12-16 05:01:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      ouch...abuse is sucky. I hate that it takes getting hit before some people admit they're being abused.
    It's interesting that you use candy for emotion...since the emotion is pain, yet candy is sweet...and pinata for the flesh...a festive happy toy...for the sad and abused face being cracked open.
    It's almost as if it's being told from the point of view of the abuser...as if he sees it all as a game. Quite good...love your images yet again.
    | Posted on 2004-12-20 00:00:00 | by marysunshine | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't get away from taking her 'emotion spilling' literally as her blood spilling. Although it does make much more sense that it would be her actual emotion (either, in her pent-up rage she fights back, or she leaves him). I guess I just get such a visual that I see her blood spilling from her head, and I am thinking maybe he killed her (sorry to be so horrible). Either way, it is very sad and disturbing, but quite well done. Really provokes a lot of thought.
    | Posted on 2004-12-19 00:00:00 | by ber | [ Reply to This ]
      this is so brutal and raw. i'm curious about the emotions spilling out. is it, finally, all the pent up rage, fueled by the lies and cruelty, that will have her fight back? somehow i think not, because usually women in this position lose the will to fight back after years of abuse. but there are those few (remember The Burning Bed?) who are finally pushed too far and take matters into their own hands. perhaps this Pinata finally had too much, yes?
    | Posted on 2004-12-18 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      the more I think about it I come to the conclusion that the emotions spilling out must be lies and cruelty. why?? cause first he filled her with it (and you have to fill a piñata with something first) and now he hit it and it comes out what he filled in. don't let me think about something to long.
    but it's an interesting thought. and you can interpret it that way. that this is how she reacts. she could as well just pack her things in secret and leave in the middle of the night. but as you wrote it I think my version is a bit more realistic. that she's angry and stands up for herself. either way this is a really good piece. great, original image. very well written, Amy.
    | Posted on 2004-12-17 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      i actually saw this piece earlier but i wasn't able to comment coz i needed to take care of something.

    i know people who do this. it's just sad... i can't really find another word for it. this piece digs. it doesn't need a lot of explanation but goes straight to the core. brilliant.

    p.s.

    i love the new pic. it compliments your eyes.

    you just made me realize how overdue my icon is. hehe.

    anyway, take care.
    | Posted on 2004-12-17 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      Very perceptive and tidy. I'm sure there was nothing but candy pouring from her, who else but a jerk could test for so long? And his angel remains true to love, just like she knows how to do. Just like he knows she will do. Just a little lesson on human behavior here. I like her as the pinata, hopefully he doesn't want candy often. It's great, and makes us think.
    Nan
    | Posted on 2004-12-17 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Very powerful. The reference you made was strikingly good. It's sad as well. I think you have the most interesting ideas. :) Good write.
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      Man. Knowing you, as soon as I saw the title I cringed. I almost can't believe it took you so long to find this one. Glad you did. Beyond the obvious, it's interesting that you have made a connection between blood and emotion. I've alluded to this before, as have many to be sure, but you've stated it in such a visual way. Being one that loves film and dabbles in screenwriting, I love a poem that grabs me like this, creating a scene as if from a movie. Love the way you had him fill the pinata with cruelty and lies before cracking it open...Wonderful...don't know what else to say.
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      Works! (Of course!)

    Did you consider sweet emotion rather than her emotion, to play off the connotation of the pinata and candy?

    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      very powerful written in such a short poem, This sad poem is more true and it should be.

    your last lines made for an excellent metaphor.

    My only suggestion for this poem would be to a an s to the word emotion, because When anyone get hurt there are so many kinds of emotions flying through their head. I wasn't being nick picky about the spelling only, my reason why is what I suggested only.
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      So much truth in so few words. Abuse usually starts verbally and this at times can be the worst because over time it tends to break down the spirit, leaving the abused one with very little to fight back. And the emotions spilling out are often self loathing for having allowed oneself to be placed in that situation.
    Very apt description.
    Very good write.
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by popsit | [ Reply to This ]
      So much truth in so few words. Abuse usually starts verbally and this at times can be the worst because over time it tends to break down the spirit, leaving the abused one with very little to fight back. And the emotions spilling out are often self loathing for having allowed oneself to be placed in that situation.
    Very apt description.
    Very good write.
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by popsit | [ Reply to This ]
      This is wonderful. I would not change a thing.

    He’d filled her
    But I think this should say He filled her. or
    He would fill her. Greta write, short and sweet.
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by manicsmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, this certainly isn't what i expected it to be from reading the title. I dunno how you do it, but you always seem to speak a powerful message very clearly, present vivid imagery and leave me thinking. All in so few words. Dunno how you do it...
    Thanx for your words

    =Jimma=
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by Jimma | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, this certainly isn't what i expected it to be from reading the title. I dunno how you do it, but you always seem to speak a powerful message very clearly, present vivid imagery and leave me thinking. All in so few words. Dunno how you do it...
    Thanx for your words

    =Jimma=
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by Jimma | [ Reply to This ]
      well done piece, but it seems unfinished somehow. i'm not sure why-it just does. maybe it's that it doesn't describe what he did to her before beating her in any detail. i dunno...
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Krysti, it leaves me somewhat out-of-breath almost and I feel like there's not enough to say about it but yet there are a flurry of thoughts twirling around in my head that could easily describe it all (if I could just spill them out.) It's so so small and so simple, you would think that nothing significant could come out of it (but it screams with so much power!) There's an evil energy behind this passage (and not by the author but rather the involved characters...i sense a predator/prey issue.) It's awkward but completely real (and the fact that it becomes unsettling is proof enough that the poem was written with an intense issue within the focal point.)
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by gavinspikenard | [ Reply to This ]
      somehow i knew when i saw the title that this was what this write was gonna be about though im really not sure why...
    this is a very striking write (completely no pun intended i promise!)
    the image of her being like a pinata kills me and yet shes not just a physical one... shes also a metal and verbal pinata too... thats soooo sad... im imagining the candy would be pretty sour...
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I expecially love this ...
    Emotion spilled
    Like candy
    From a piñata

    I wanted so bad to comment ..and now im drawing a blank ...I just thought it was simple..beautiful and powerful ...

    Blessed be
    Krysti
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]


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