Description: A moment of resting so high in confidence, the plague of high confidence and when you are brought down it hits so hard. Basically a simple story portrayed of another I know. Comments are welcome and even some more interpretations if you have any...
Please don’t believe
My actions…let them speak for me
You paint the lies down on my lips
Rest confident in moments that don’t exist
I write the words upon my wrists
Trace them with your tongue
--and taste the sour blood of my tragedy
great. I started writing this comment when I realized that someone quoted this right before me, so I'll say I agree. It's such a strong part, its profound and abstract. I'd love to see a harsher, more cynical side from you almost, because "the sour blood of my tragedy" makes me think you can do it. Keep it up, I really love it.
Please don’t believe My actions…let them speak for me
You paint the lies down on my lips Rest confident in moments that don’t exist I write the words upon my wrists Trace them with your tongue -and taste the sour blood of my tragedy
This was my favorite part, not only does it flow perfectly but it really says something...I like the imagery and the sensuality you get from reading this...trace them with your tongue and taste the sour blood of my tragedy...this is so powerful and said so well.Awesome words man. Fare Thee Well, Jazmine
You never cease to amaze me with your profoundness. You make me want to comment. LOL! In fact, that's why I'm "Stalking" you now. But, in a total safe way. Not like my stalker! *Smiles* Excellent write here. I think my favorite lines were:
Now let me carve your confidence upon your wrists Drag the blade and leave them gaping for air Turn black your eyes that resist Try now to look down upon my apathy -security- -A lost cause tragedy
My heart skipped a beat here. Seriously. The dragging your confidence against your wrist hit way home. *Shakes head* Painted a beautifully haunting picture with this piece. Please, keep it up. ~BCute
very well done, great use of words, and i can tell you poured your heart into this piece. excellent. im glad i read this pice, it is truely very well done...great job and keep up the good work... Solemn Star
This being the first thing that caught my eye today, I have to stop and point.
The style you use is different from anything else that I've seen, and I love something new.
I like 'Say I have every reason not to leave That it all belongs to me But not today…no not today
I could be the boy you won’t resist Talk to them without a “me” Write your name upon my chest Be the never, -a forever after-
Yet…Please don’t believe My actions -let them speak For me-
Mirror, how amazing For instances full of pictures The grains hiding words I’ve thrown at you Dissolving every word traced -after a faded shower fog-'
and have even more love for 'My flowers wilted in decay -Might I lack honesty Now go away.'
I think it was a little long. It was also broken up-but I kind of have the feeling that it was supposed to be that way to communicate your feelings. But the choppiness made it a little hard to read in some places.
Like I said, this was the first piece of work to catch my eye today. It was haunting to me- especially this 'Yet…Please don’t believe My actions -let them speak For me-'