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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Falsely Painted Lipsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Geremy Smith
    ASL Info:    20/M/Pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    5.79 - 171/145/23
    Words: 269
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 1288
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1815



    Description:
       A moment of resting so high in confidence, the plague of high confidence and when you are brought down it hits so hard. Basically a simple story portrayed of another I know. Comments are welcome and even some more interpretations if you have any...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFalsely Painted Lipsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Please don’t believe
    My actions…let them speak for me

    You paint the lies down on my lips
    Rest confident in moments that don’t exist
    I write the words upon my wrists
    Trace them with your tongue
    --and taste the sour blood of my tragedy

    Losing confidence in every picture
    -(Please don’t believe)-
    A smile lacking
    -(My actions…)-
    I latch the mask down on my throat
    -(…let them speak for me)-

    Say I have every reason not to leave
    That it all belongs to me
    But not today…no not today

    I could be the boy you won’t resist
    Talk to them without a “me”
    Write your name upon my chest
    Be the never, -a forever after-

    Yet…Please don’t believe
    My actions
    --let them speak
    For me-

    Mirror, how amazing
    For instances full of pictures
    The grains hiding words I’ve thrown at you
    Dissolving every word traced
    --after a faded shower fog-

    Now let me carve your confidence upon your wrists
    Drag the blade and leave them gaping for air
    Turn black your eyes that resist
    Try now to look down upon my apathy
    --security-
    --A lost cause tragedy

    Cleanse my hands of all the loss
    Wipe red from my lips
    All those times they touched yours

    A contagious lack of honesty
    How it seemed to add to my reality
    Writing comments upon my heart

    Through your confidence you never see
    Let me rest and wash away

    --Down veins of noise insisted twists

    Never see

    My flowers wilted in decay
    --Might I lack honesty
    Now go away.




    Submitted on 2004-12-16 10:39:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Please don’t believe
    My actions…let them speak for me

    You paint the lies down on my lips
    Rest confident in moments that don’t exist
    I write the words upon my wrists
    Trace them with your tongue
    --and taste the sour blood of my tragedy



    great. I started writing this comment when I realized that someone quoted this right before me, so I'll say I agree. It's such a strong part, its profound and abstract. I'd love to see a harsher, more cynical side from you almost, because "the sour blood of my tragedy" makes me think you can do it. Keep it up, I really love it.
    | Posted on 2007-03-29 00:00:00 | by Waywarddaughter | [ Reply to This ]
      First of all this is awesome...it's beautiful...

    Please don’t believe
    My actions…let them speak for me

    You paint the lies down on my lips
    Rest confident in moments that don’t exist
    I write the words upon my wrists
    Trace them with your tongue
    -and taste the sour blood of my tragedy

    This was my favorite part, not only does it flow perfectly but it really says something...I like the imagery and the sensuality you get from reading this...trace them with your tongue and taste the sour blood of my tragedy...this is so powerful and said so well.Awesome words man.
    Fare Thee Well,
    Jazmine
    | Posted on 2005-05-06 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      You never cease to amaze me with your profoundness. You make me want to comment. LOL! In fact, that's why I'm "Stalking" you now. But, in a total safe way. Not like my stalker! *Smiles* Excellent write here. I think my favorite lines were:

    Now let me carve your confidence upon your wrists
    Drag the blade and leave them gaping for air
    Turn black your eyes that resist
    Try now to look down upon my apathy
    -security-
    -A lost cause tragedy

    My heart skipped a beat here. Seriously. The dragging your confidence against your wrist hit way home. *Shakes head* Painted a beautifully haunting picture with this piece. Please, keep it up.
    ~BCute
    | Posted on 2004-12-20 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      very well done, great use of words, and i can tell you poured your heart into this piece. excellent. im glad i read this pice, it is truely very well done...great job and keep up the good work...
    Solemn Star
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by Solemn Star 88 | [ Reply to This ]
      This being the first thing that caught my eye today, I have to stop and point.

    The style you use is different from anything else that I've seen, and I love something new.

    I like
    'Say I have every reason not to leave
    That it all belongs to me
    But not today…no not today

    I could be the boy you won’t resist
    Talk to them without a “me”
    Write your name upon my chest
    Be the never, -a forever after-

    Yet…Please don’t believe
    My actions
    -let them speak
    For me-

    Mirror, how amazing
    For instances full of pictures
    The grains hiding words I’ve thrown at you
    Dissolving every word traced
    -after a faded shower fog-'

    and have even more love for
    'My flowers wilted in decay
    -Might I lack honesty
    Now go away.'

    I think it was a little long. It was also broken up-but I kind of have the feeling that it was supposed to be that way to communicate your feelings. But the choppiness made it a little hard to read in some places.

    Like I said, this was the first piece of work to catch my eye today. It was haunting to me- especially this
    'Yet…Please don’t believe
    My actions
    -let them speak
    For me-'

    ~be easy
    | Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by Alize | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    3. How did it make you feel?
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    5. Which parts?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    37981

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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