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We go out to dinner, dressed in our best
Your dad is there to help celebrate the annual tradition
Neither of us can help from smiling
“Happy Birthday to You!!” we all sing in unison
And I find your blushing cheeks adorable
On the way to your aunts we look for excuses to touch
You need to put the plastic sword from your drink into the box
By reaching across my lap
And I need to tell you a secret
With my lips on your shoulder
We’re at your aunts only for a short while
But while we are, your head is on my stomach
And your hands are finger spelling “I love you, Courtney”
“I love you more” mine reply
On the way home we sit in the very back
Holding hands and exchanging smiles in the dark
When we get home we watch a movie
Alternating whose head is in whose lap
I can’t help but be happy with you near me
When your dad falls asleep you take me by the hand
And lead me back to your room
Your lips meet mine for a brief moment
But that’s all that it takes for my world to melt
We curl up in bed together and you fall asleep in my arms
And for the longest time I can’t fall asleep
I’m too distracted by you and your perfection
But when I finally do, you’re all I dream about
And in my sleep I realize that everything I am, everything I want to be
It’s all because of you…

But then the next day…you take it all back
You say you shouldn’t have acted on your feelings
And I feel my melted world slide down the drain
I don’t know what
to do
to say
to feel
So I sit, with my head in my hands and
I cry
I cry most of the afternoon away
Thinking that things have barely begun
And yet, I’ve already lost you.