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Paper Patterned Seeds

Author: Geremy Smith
ASL Info:    20/M/Pennsylvania
Elite Ratio:    5.79 - 171 /145 /23
Words: 139
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1587
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 927


A realization fo something so unchangable and unavoidable....

Paper Patterned Seeds

All these I-love-you’s lost
When what I meant
--I wrote on your chest

If I could just take back these misspent days
Every second of anger
Wipe these tears away

Call out my name
Tell me what happens
While my eyes close for their last time
Does this all simply end?
An eternal darkness
--With a burning in my soul

Because it just hit me
--This life is just a thing

Whispering branches take their time
Raking across the path of my ears
Reminding me of how I’m broken
in you

Take this time and realize
Concentration forces me to be myself
It’s all inevitable

As I will be broken
I am the one that bleeds
Life dripping as water from my fingertips
Taking time to plant the seeds
And harvest loss.

Submitted on 2004-12-16 19:24:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  *Taking time to plant the seeds
And harvest loss*

Best lines in this poem. You have a great way with words.
I think it would have been better if the stanzas were even,but then again,it's just me. :)
| Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
  This is one of the best pieces I have read with such a free-flow format for some time. You portray such a bold message in diamond clear words it'd be a challenge for even the daftess person to misinterpret this.

"All these I-love-you’s lost
When what I meant
--I wrote on your chest"

Great opening, and my favorite stanza. I have no words against this, good piece. Sorry I couldnt give you a better comment, but honestly theres nothing at al wrong with this piece.


| Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]

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