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    dots Submission Name: Hollowed Graves of Freewilldots

    Author: Geremy Smith
    ASL Info:    20/M/Pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    5.79 - 171/145/23
    Words: 171
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 845
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1240

       The beginning has no rhyme...but towards the end it starts to gaina rhyme...this was purposely done. Other than that, you can take this writing for what you think it means.

    Comments and feedback would be great..Thanks.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHollowed Graves of Freewilldots

    Conceived on the story board
    Of an anthem shattered Hotel
    Descriptive eyes peeling
    The bark of inner sanctity embraced

    Calloused fingers dance
    So timidly over the face
    Lacking perfection
    Eyes shaded with blood and grey

    Forcefully churning the heart
    Tongues latched against cheeks
    Embedded with shards of glass
    Showing the sheep what to adore

    The graves of freewill beam
    A radiance of brilliance
    So sickening
    A stomach turned sourly sore

    Because somehow I lost my way
    Fingers suffocating
    My eyes of filtered decay
    All that I’ve ever fought to keep
    is all that I have to leave

    There is something
    I have to say here
    --before I fade away

    Forever there’s no tomorrow
    Trapped in mirrored freewill
    Yet we do this all over again
    Gripped by routine circumstance
    Worn…and hollowed again

    All along, here I was told
    That we could open up, so bold
    --our eyes where in the safety dies
    Because forever we will be
    Yes, we will be borrowed
    Hollowed again.

    Submitted on 2004-12-17 10:27:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I don't get it. The title intrigued me as sounding like something good, but I think it's a little too obscure. Too hard to catch the meaning.

    Yes, we will be borrowed
    Hollowed again.

    This last line is the only one that gives me a sense of what you're trying to say. (I think)
    | Posted on 2004-12-24 00:00:00 | by blood heart | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know if I quite understand the subject. But, what I got was that your eyes were becoming tainted by society? Maybe I'm wrong but if that's it then awesome. But, maybe you could explain it to me if that's not it?
    | Posted on 2004-12-23 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]

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