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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: analogous contradictiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: closebutremote
    ASL Info:    22/M/FL
    Elite Ratio:    2.69 - 54/77/16
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 906
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1045



    Description:
       I wrote this after thinking about how i am different that the "norm". But that really makes me just like everyone else.



    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsanalogous contradictiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    You come to me,
    I want to misbehave,
    The rules I have waived,
    You crave,
    I gave,
    Don't look at me don't play with me,
    Just lay with me in this enclave,
    Soon you must go,
    You leave in a rave,
    You're "late"
    For that I forgave,
    Are you making up for all the time that you saved? I'll take that secret to my grave, (pre ejaculating bastard)
    This road, for myself, I have paved,
    I refuse to be depraved,
    Now it's like I am enslaved,
    To the passion,
    The addiction,
    The mindless affliction,
    The social contradiction,
    Seems like fiction,
    But it's not, it's endless friction,
    With people you use restriction
    Around or you'll get a contradiction
    of what you meant to be viewed as
    So end the confliction,
    I am one of many mixed in
    the crowd of "normal" people,
    Married under your church steeple.




    Submitted on 2004-12-17 13:30:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I won't deny that it is passionate and gives a good display of emotion but dirty, grudge-holding passages like this never really excite me too much.
    | Posted on 2004-12-17 00:00:00 | by gavinspikenard | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm... just throwing out an idea from the actual poem, how about: Social Contradiction.

    It makes people think?

    -emo.
    | Posted on 2004-12-17 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the idea, and what you did with it. I'd add a better title, something that contributes to it instead of summarizes it. I think a good title would make this poem shine and stand out a little more. Nice work.

    -emo.
    | Posted on 2004-12-17 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved it James you are so gifted,I like the way it went through a few lines with the same rhyme.You are a a very good lil writing brother.And not that I dont love the whole thing I love this the best-This road, for myself, I have paved,
    I refuse to be depraved,
    Now it's like I am enslaved,
    To the passion,
    The addiction,
    The mindless affliction,
    The social contradiction,
    Seems like fiction,-you did a great job with this one and I'm so happy we can share all this together.I love ya
    | Posted on 2004-12-17 00:00:00 | by Forgiven | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked it, i love how you rhyme. YOu give your poetry so much detail! You definetly have talent. I didn't like anyone part better than the other because it just was all good.
    I hope to read more of what you write!
    mikki
    | Posted on 2004-12-28 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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