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    dots Submission Name: Do You See?dots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 952
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 682

       This was writtem for an English assignment, I wasn't thrilled with it but...whatever.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDo You See?dots

    a vast sky spread before me
    and you dangle hope in front of my eyes
    freedom is an allusion to the extend of my diguise
    I scramble for an answer
    but fingers point in my way
    you open your mouth to speak
    but have limited things to say
    promises of the future, free from any past
    if I had never seen the sky, I have seen it now at last
    my lips are chapped, my eyes are sore, my body feels so numb
    I'm aching with anticipation but
    this moment has yet to come
    can you feel these things inside me
    do you really realize
    do you know the pain that binds me
    can you really empathize

    Submitted on 2004-12-17 21:36:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The way you express urself in this poem is very precise and make easy for the reader, the pain is no matter. Keep writin' u r very good
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by Writer Chic | [ Reply to This ]
      i think this is a superb poem! and pain is pain no matter what your age! don't stop expressing youself in your writing. listen to positive responses because you're a brilliant writer. adding you to my favorites too!
    | Posted on 2004-12-17 00:00:00 | by MMISS | [ Reply to This ]
      This is actually pretty good. I'm adding it to my favorites list. Maybe it's just the way the poem proclaimed itself so soothingly when I read it but I found it a lot more than just some "English assignment."
    | Posted on 2004-12-17 00:00:00 | by gavinspikenard | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey good poem, i like this one alot...its pain, but it tells the reader how u hide it and somewhat let it show, at least thats what i got out of it in this way..well yeah, it was a little short, but it helps cause im not in the mood to read alot and so im goin now, ta ta jazz...

    | Posted on 2005-01-06 00:00:00 | by medicated | [ Reply to This ]

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