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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What you left behinddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: grinninggashes
    ASL Info:    17/f/from sumwhere :)
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 154/124/25
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 717
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1004



    Description:
       I wrote this one a while back..it was like 3 years ago or so .. damb breakups


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat you left behinddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Someday you'll realize what you left behind
    I seen through you, I wasn't blinde
    As I look back on the days we spent together
    Wiht you, me and even my baby brother
    but the best tiems was us alone
    you, me and the smell of your cologne
    you were always so sweet
    and thtas what swept me off my feet
    if you only know the pain you put me through
    let me tell you, it was worse than the flu
    all those sweet times
    will never make up for the bad times
    you never even said I'm sorry
    I shoulda took our drama to Maury
    he woulda said "look what your doing to this girl,
    can't you see that your her world?"
    Then you'd laugh n smile
    then think for awhile
    you'd think of a dumb remark,
    "man last week I saw her with a dude named mark"
    Now, I'm glad we broke up
    you got me all messed up
    because you really suck!




    Submitted on 2004-12-18 12:40:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Another great poem about love/lost. I almost cried while reading it because of all the memories of the b@#$h I was with for over 2 years. Really good job communicating the sorrow of it, and turning pain into poetry. I wish I could read more of your work, but I'm in no condition at the moment.
    | Posted on 2005-02-09 00:00:00 | by elitegundam | [ Reply to This ]
       Please don't mind my queries on grammar - perhaps I'm obssessive.
    I want you to go through this again and try pick up on all the errors. I cringed at the spelling mistakes. The second line you said 'I seen' and that sounded terrible. And it was also distracting when you used unconventional spelling. Please fix it up; it would make me happy.
    Well, other than all those things I would say that this was a pretty cute poem. Cheesy rhymes can be good sometimes (why do we get so mushy? ). Men do suck! We should have our own break-room - you know, where we can go to get away from them. That would be nice.
    Alright then. Clean this up and see how you feel. You'll feel better, I bet.
    | Posted on 2004-12-18 00:00:00 | by luckypenny | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww grinninggashes i feel every ounce of your pain sweetheart i am sorry that you are having such a rough trot... If i may impart a little advice to you... In the past i had a 5 yr relationship, this ended quite badly leaving me an emotional wreck feeling like i had lost a major part of me... after 2 weeks i called my dear old Mumsie to get her advice and motherly love [ILove my Mum she is so caring]
    I told my Mum the whole story and expressed to her my feelings about the whole situation.
    Mum Told me this...

    She said "Honey appreciate every second that you had in this relationship, hold close to your heart all the good times that you shared think of them often.
    She went on to say...
    Yet cherish the 'bad times' that you had during your relationship what ever it they were. These are the stepping blocks of growth, being that the lessons of bad experiences being learnt making you a strong and better mentally equipt person as a whole!

    Goodonyamum xoxox

    I hope someday you will find resolve in your heart

    Timmy S. Edgar
    | Posted on 2004-12-18 00:00:00 | by Timmy S. Edgar | [ Reply to This ]


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