[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 858
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 610

       this is me depressed and i feel all bad and this poem is shit but i don't care.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    you say I can't
    I question you with my eyes
    I really need to heal, the pain you feel inside

    I really need to know
    why we can't just be real friends
    but you need me a different way
    but this superficial love is just about to end

    i hate that you use me
    i hate the hungry look in your eyes
    i hate the love you used to have
    and the fact that your pain is mine

    you are coming to me
    but you walk in a cold way
    there are so many things i am thinking
    but nothing i could say

    Submitted on 2004-12-19 00:29:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this doesn't suck...it's awesome. it all goes together fairly well, it doesn't jump subjects or anything like that. i loved the end. so if you think this poem is crappy...i wonder what your other poems are like...i shall find out...lol...
    | Posted on 2004-12-19 00:00:00 | by darkness child | [ Reply to This ]
      heres what I don't get. you say your all depressed and that your poem sucks. Then you post it for comment. To me it sounds like your writing for therapy. Thats cool but why not write it in a notebook and for your eyes alone?

    did you write your depressed sucky poem up here because you have a desire to be abused or a desire for sympathy? relation? advice?

    I'm not saying I think your poem sucks I'm just taking what you said and asking the questions that run through my mind.

    any explanation would be appreciated.


    | Posted on 2004-12-19 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this poem, yet i was lost, is this about a guy you wanna be friends with, and they tried to use you for more?

    or a friend who just used you, it was very nice poem over all!
    | Posted on 2004-12-19 00:00:00 | by n3cr0 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Bond written by saartha
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Push written by JanePlane
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Linger written by saartha
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]