this doesn't suck...it's awesome. it all goes together fairly well, it doesn't jump subjects or anything like that. i loved the end. so if you think this poem is crappy...i wonder what your other poems are like...i shall find out...lol...
heres what I don't get. you say your all depressed and that your poem sucks. Then you post it for comment. To me it sounds like your writing for therapy. Thats cool but why not write it in a notebook and for your eyes alone?
did you write your depressed sucky poem up here because you have a desire to be abused or a desire for sympathy? relation? advice?
I'm not saying I think your poem sucks I'm just taking what you said and asking the questions that run through my mind.